.

I have been watching, with dismay, the atrocious behavior of Big Brother 15’s Amanda Zuckerman and I am appalled that CBS Big Brother executives have allowed her bullying behavior to continue throughout the entire season. It is bad enough that all of the minority cast members had their games severely hindered by the racist beliefs of the likes of Zuckerman, Gries and Zimmerman, but now the outright bullying of a Big Brother contestant, Elissa Slater (who has no one to back or support her), has been allowed to persist throughout the last couple of days.  This includes Zuckerman’s declaration that she would murder Slater in her sleep. Today the bullying and harassment by Zuckerman has continued and,  instead of putting her in check, feeds were censored in order to shield her repugnant behavior. I find this to be unacceptable.

During a time where bullying has seen tremendous backlash from society at large, it is shameful that CBS has not done anything to put their foot down and set an example for the viewing public, as a whole.

I have been a fan of Big Brother since the early years and have questioned why I have continued to watch this bastardized version of a game that is normally one of the highlights of my summer. If season 16 sees its ratings severely drop, it will be due to season 15’s overall lack of integrity and moral virtue and CBS’s lack of effort to remedy the situation.

This is my plea to CBS to do something about this horrendous behavior. I get that the idea is to show people as they truly are, but there must be a line drawn in the sand at some point. There has to be a point at which one crosses that line. What cast members Candice Stewart and Elissa Slater, in particular, faced this season on Big Brother can only be described as bullying and emotional abuse. Please do not continue to be a party to such behavior.

Thank you.

I’ve been SICK!

And these prescriptions have got me all jacked up! Hopefully I will be back to normal next week and I can resume my recaps. Until then…

joseline, love and hip hop, atlantaThis week on the Young and the Ratchet, the episode picks up where last week’s ended…

Wait, let me talk a minute about the ratchet ass shit that went down at a viewing party last night with Mz Hoseline Hernandez. Apparently, ol’ girl was confronted, and attacked, by a fan of the show. As of now, details are sketchy, but the general consensus is that the woman wanted to know why Joseline had an abortion, and that is what started the altercation. Some people say that Joseline just brushed her off, and that was the ultimate sign of disrespect. Others say that Joseline pushed the attacker first. There are conflicting reports on whether or not Joseline was hit with a bottle. The attacker’s friend says that that’s not true. Until a police report surfaces, and/or pictures of Joseline’s injuries are posted, it is going to be hard to tell who is telling the truth.

Now, part of me feels that Joseline got what a lot of people thought she would get at some point. I didn’t think it would be over her getting an abortion, however. I mean, fa real? In case some of you have forgotten, abortions are legal in this country. Now, the GOP is trying to change that, along with taking away y’alls birth control (your asses better vote in November!) but, as of now, it is still legal. It is no one’s place to tell any woman what she HAS to do with her body. Period. If women were walking around trying to regulate men’s sperm, people would have a problem with that, but trying to regulate a woman’s uterus is fair game? Hell nah! But, I digress.

Since I don’t know the actual facts of what happened, it’s hard to give my opinion on it. If it’s true that old girl was salty for being brushed off, she needs to have several seats. What kind of pre-k, elementary school bullshit is that? I can’t stand Joseline, but far be it for me to cosign unprovoked and/or escalated violence (from fistfight to cracking bottles over ones head). The attacker needs to be locked up. Again, that’s IF, she hit her with a bottle.

Now that that is out of the way, it is time to move on to this week’s episode. It starts with Stevie J and Joseline, still in the studio, discussing who impregnated her. I cannot tell if Stevie is trying to play off the, “I ain’t fucking this ho,” angle for the camera, or if he is just a dick. I am going with the dick thing. This dude couldn’t find the highroad if Dora and Boots themselves gave him their map. Eventually, he drops the act and tries to play semantics with her on when she would have conceived the child. “If we had been sleeping together for 6 months, my kid would be bigger than that.” What? Does this man not know how reproduction works? Don’t he have at least four kids by now? Lawd. In confessionals, Joseline is saying, “Believe it or not, I am very stingy with my kutty cat.” Child, please.

Joseline tells Stevie that she is going to bring him the 50% paperwork and he ain’t going to have no money left. Ultimately, she lost that card when she had the fetus aborted. I can’t think of many people who are less fit to be a parent, so there are bright sides. My suspicion is that this wasn’t her first terminated pregnancy, and probably won’t be the last. Stevie doesn’t like that she is threatening to make him pay for his offspring, I mean the NERVE, and he tells her that she ain’t getting shit. He gets up and grabs his dick and says a bunch of ignorant bullshit. His mama must be so proud.

K Michlle goes to meet her record producer, B. Cox, to discuss organizing a local showcase to, uh…. showcase her talent. She is, again, talking about her time at Jive records and how they squandered her budget, and that she was out of her mind, and people were running away and locking their doors because they were scared of her. OK, we get it. Things, at Jive Records, were fucked up. Let’s move on now, because the more you talk the less I believe you.

Lil Scrappy goes to visit Momma Dee to let her know that he has found a new place. Again, they talk about Erica and her lack of affection and Momma Dee says she rather her son ho around to get the “affection” he needs than stay with woman who wouldn’t give him the one thing he asks for. I’m sure Erica is worried about Scrappy giving HER the one thing that SHE is asking for – you know, being faithful, but we see how things work in Momma Dee’s world. Any woman her son gets with must cater to him, period. This is why Scrappy will always be a little boy. That’s just not a lesson you teach ANY man. I mean, he can’t even handle the responsibility of hiring movers to move HIS shit. And mama, right there, offering to do it for him with a big grin on her face. SMDH. I do like Lil Scrappy’s personality though, so I at least understand why a female will be attracted to him. I will never get it with Stevie J.

Rasheeda, Love and Hip Hop, AtlantaRasheeda and Kirk meet up to talk about her being late to the shoot. I am not feeling Rasheeda’s attitude on this one. Yes, I get that you have a lot of responsibilities, and it’s tough juggling it all, but you cannot use not getting your way as an excuse to drag your feet. She wanted four dancers, but she only got two. In her mind, she was being short changed so she would “get there when she get there.” She also seems to think that being late two hours only set their budget back $300-400. Kirk informs her that it set them back a few thousand dollars. I am rooting for Rasheeda, DESPITE the fact that I don’t like her music, but she really needs to pull it together. I’ve seen a lot of immaturity out of her the last couple of episodes. Kirk tells her that she isn’t being smart about the business because she has an attitude. He also says that what she is looking for is something that she would get as an artist with a major label. Rasheeda is totally against going the major labor route because they are really just glorified pimps. They use their artists up for every dime they can drain out of them, and unless the artist is able to negotiate a contract in their favor, ie, owning their masters, it doesn’t tend to pan out well for them.  But, again, if you want to go the independent route, you need to have the attitude and mentality to do it successfully. I am not seeing that in Rasheeda right now. Kirk also tells her that it’s difficult to be in business mode with her as his husband. They need to just go on and hire someone else.

Erica is earning her spot on the show by setting up a nice, romantic evening for Scrappy, even though we know she really don’t want his ass. Her bedroom is a fire hazard, with dozens of lighted candles lining the walls, rose petals scattered across the floor, and chocolate covered scrawberries. She has pullt on some sexy lingaree, and got the oils out for a nice massage. I cannot wait to see Scrappy return the “affection” and set up something similar for Erica down the line! Maybe he’ll get to that after he’s done rubbing Buckey bikini-clad body down! So in the midst of a foot and back massage, Scrappy decides that this is the perfect time to let Erica know that he has found a spot and is moving out. Thanks for killing the mood! I must say, Scrappy has some breautiful feet! He had to have had a pedicure beforehand, however, because I just don’t believe any man keep their feet that pretty on their own. Besides, we know that this show just ain’t that spontaneous.

The ladies get together to support K. Michelle at her showcase. Despite the sparkly fuzzy sleeves, I thought K. Michelle looked somewhat dressed down, but maybe that’s how they do at showcases. She sings her new song, “Bury My Heart,” and she is doing that shout-singing thing that tone-deaf people confuse for belting. Otherwise, she sounds as good as, or better than, most of the artists getting R & B contracts these days, and that “Bury My Heart” song is growing on me. I know I’ve heard that melody before, who is she sampling?

K. Michelle, on the showcase: “I left the haters with their faces on the floor, I left my family excited and my friends overjoyed. A star was born.”

OK, then.

I’ve come to the conclusion that Karlie Redd would not get any airtime if it wasn’t for her stirring up shit. Where is her music? What projects is she working on? Where are her meetings with music execs?  Can you please get your own business, Karlie Redd? I can’t stand that ho. Anyway, she points to some chick in the audience and tells Mimi, “That’s the girl who said she fucked Stevie.”  Mimi, again, is looking like a fool, and when Stevie J comes over there to get a kiss, she tells him that she don’t want to kiss him. This is when Stevie turns into a little bitch and starts to demand that she give him a kiss.

Stevie: “What do you mean you are going to call when you are done?” “You going to show out?” “Gimme a kiss. Gimme a kiss.”

Dude, do you hear yourself?

Erica is thoroughly amused by the entire situation. She says that she didn’t know that Stevie was Mimi’s man/baby daddy, so she didn’t get why he was acting like that. For people who live in the same city, and who are filming a reality show together, they sure as hell don’t seem to know a lot about each other. Anyway, since Stevie is really just a woman with a big dick, he decides to step to her and starts to go off on her, calling her a bitch. Erica doesn’t back down, however, and tells him that she is not intimidated by him. As Stevie walks off, he calls her a, “disrespectful slut monkey.” Really? And what have you done to earn respect, Stevie J? What I like is how Mimi just sat there like a fucking lump on a log. She didn’t try to get him to stop or call him out on his bitchassedness. She just sat there looking like she is completely disconnected from the situation. Someone may want to check to see if she is on something, for reals.

Sidebar: On the Twitter last night, Mimi had this to say,“Doing the show was a blessing and a curse. Id still be in the dark and clueless had I not done it. The downside is dealing with the trurh (sic). It hurts to find out the man u loved so much was capable of doing the most but I’ve been given the gift of clarity. My new beginning begins. My only wish is for my daughter to learn from my mistakes and know her worth and never experience what I’ve been thru. I love her sooo much. But at the end of the day a very dysfunctional relationship produced the most pure love Ive ever experienced. My daughter. So no regrets.” 

The next day, Mimi and Stevie meet up in some parking lot to discuss the previous night’s altercation. Mimi says that Stevie had a bunch to say when they got home, but she locked him out of the bedroom. Do you believe her? I don’t believe her. She asks him why she went off on Erica and he said, just like the bitch that he is, that he just felt like going off on everyone. WTF, were you having PMS? To his credit, he does acknowledge that he was wrong and says that he wants to speak with Erica and apologize. They then start to talk about the latest chick that the Town Crier, Karlie Redd, said that he smashed. Stevie wants to know how many times they are going to go through this he-said, she said shit. Um, as long as you are fucking other women?  First, he says that there is no truth to it, then, he says that he has seen her in the studio once or twice, finally he says he doesn’t remember. Then he starts back at one – “But, I didn’t fuck that broad!”  “I can’t recall.” “I didn’t take that down!” “Can we just get passed it?” He also implies that the woman isn’t hot enough for him to sleep with. LOL. Mimi, again proving how naive she is, says that she doesn’t know of any women who runs around claiming to sleep with men that they didn’t sleep with. She tells him that he needs to check his bitches because they ain’t running shit. Stevie: “This your thing, baby.” Mimi: “You got to stop this bullshit, because I can’t take much more.” ::rolleyes::

Joseline meets with her next-door neighbor, who happens to be her “best friend,” to tell him that she is pregnant. Someone should have sat him down with an acting coach to better perfect his reaction. I thought I was watching Single Ladies for a minute. #Shade Ruben (her neighbor) wants to know if Joseline loves Stevie, and she says that she does. She has that love women get for a man who takes them out of the strip club, or off the track. He gave her an opportunity, and if it wasn’t for him, she would still be stripping. She says that she was one of six kids and that her mother did drugs for 25 years. She ran away at 12 years old and that she is just glad she ended up in a strip club and not dead.

Sidebar:  It’s clear that Stevie manipulates her by threatening to throw her back into that lifestyle, and honestly, I do feel bad for Joseline in that regard. My thing is, and always will be, that you can’t let your past dictate the way that you treat other people. It’s horrible that she has had to live the life that she has led, but it’s not the fault of the world, it’s the fault of her parents.  

At the end of the conversation, it’s obvious that Joseline has decided to have an abortion. She tells her friend that she is just going to do what she has to do.

Scrappy got two little boxes on his bed that he is filling up with clothes to take to his new spot. Erica tells him that she has been keeping something from him, because she didn’t know how he was going to take it.

It went a little something like…

Erica: “I met Stevie J.”

Scrappy: “I heard a lot about him.”

Erica: “Well, he came over to the table and demanded that Mimi give him a kiss.”

Scrappy: “She wouldn’t give him no kiss?”

Erica: “Nope.”

Scrappy: “She wouldn’t kiss him?”

Erica: “Nope.”

Scrappy: “Why wouldn’t she give him a kiss?”

Damn, Scrappy, can she tell the story?

Erica: “He called me a bitch.”

Scrappy: “What? Did he know you before this?” (What difference does that make?)

Erica: “Nope.”

Scrappy: “ Shawty, hell naw! We gon get a apology. Shawty. We gon get more than that, Shawty. You feel me? But… you know, I’m on probation right?”

OK, that is not at all verbatim, but mostly how I remember the conversation!

K. Michelle goes to Ariane’s place to get her “true opinion,” on what she thought of the showcase. What else is she going to say other than you did well? The real purpose of the visit is to discuss Karlie Redd’s messy ass. The night of the showcase, Karlie went up to K. Michelle’s producer and told him that he was messing with the wrong artist.

K. Michelle, in confessionals: “The last time I checked, no one is throwing out record deals to 50-year-old artists who don’t even have a Wikipedia page. Walking around here with a deflated ass cheek, she needs to deal with that shit first!” BITCH, YOU AINT’ GOT NO WIKIPEDIA PAGE?

 K. Michelle goes to meet with Jeff Robinson, who is a music manager who has worked with everyone from Tyrese to Alicia Keys.  She wants to know what she needs to move forward and Jeff is straight with her. He tells her that one of Jive Records former employees came to his office and told him that she was crazier than a bag of hammers. (Just how crazy IS a bag of hammers?) He tells her that her record deal was her opportunity to build something and, to the world, it looks as if she failed. KM says that it’s not fair and starts to cry and shit, whatever. She says that she messed up and should have kept her Hot Pocket closed. Jeff just wants her to understand how it happened and to learn from it. She tells him that she needs him to manage her. He says that she can always ask him for advice, but he has to keep it real. If they are going to work together, she has to take responsibility for herself and her brand. Girl, he does not want to work with you.

The show wraps up with the Mimi/Stevie/Joseline drama, as usual.

Joseline invites Mimi to meet her so she can tell her that she’s pregnant with Stevie’s baby. Getting straight to the point, Joseline tells Mimi that that time back in December, when Stevie stop coming home (a period of 3 months) it’s because he was with her. Joseline: “I know who baby I have in my stomach, and you know, too.” In confessionals, Mimi says that she is disgusted, but she’s not going to lose her cool because that’s what Joseline wanted. She tells Joseline that she knows what she is dealing with when it comes to Stevie, and… wait for it… “I am not fool.” ::sideeye:: ::smirk::

Mimi: “As far as you are concerned, you are a stripper. Do you even know who you are pregnant by?

Joseline: “I’m pregnant by your man.”

Mimi: “He pulled you out of the strip club.”

::Joseline gets a text::

Joseline: “This him texting me right now.”

Mimi: “Tell him to come up here.”

::Stevie walks in two seconds later:: (I mean, come on, you know he was on standby.)

Stevie: “What you letting her know?”

Mimi: “She tells me she’s pregnant by you.”

Stevie: “Is that what she said?”

::Stevie pulls pregnancy test out of pocket:: (The FUCK?)

Mimi (in confessionals): Who the fuck carries around the next chicks pregnancy test in their pocket?

Mimi: “When was the last time y’all fucked?”

Joseline:  “5 days ago.”

Stevie: “A month ago.”

Mimi: “If it was a month ago, it could be your baby.”

Mimi (in confessional): “You’re sloppy. You fucked this bitch raw, and then you want to come home and lay down with me?” Yea, you simple broad, that’s exactly what he wants to do and that’s what you ALLOW him to do.

::Mimi gets up::

Mimi: “Good luck with your baby.”

Stevie: “Where you going?”

Stevie says that she, er I mean, HE, is glad that she left because this was a conversation that he and Joseline needed to have first. You know, to get their stories straight.

The rest of the segment just devolves into them yelling at each other, Joseline throwing drinks, and pushing. Stevie pulls that, “I own you shit,” and tells her that he has papers on her for the rest of her life and that he is going to send her back to the strip club and that he gave her life. Blah blah blah.

Joseline, “I tire of you controlling me.”

Joseline says that Stevie always threatens to send her back to the strip club when he gets mad at her, but he can’t send her back to the strip club because she’s not going back. She calls Stevie a fucking piece of shit and he tells her to watch her mouth. She tells him that she doesn’t want to talk to him anymore, and he said that she will never be finished talking to him and to understand that and to watch how she speaks to him.

Stevie: “You look nice by the way.”

Seriously? Bitches fall for this bullshit? I bet he got hoes, right now, lining up to fuck him and be treated like a piece of dog shit. Ugh.

Next week’s episode shows the confrontation between Scrappy and Stevie, and I can’t wait. I want to see if Stevie is as quick to step to men as he is to step to women. I somehow doubt it…

Thanks for reading. Remember to follow me on the Twitter, @DeAnnaMisrahi, so that you are notified every time I post a new entry! Please share my blog with the peoples you know! Ciao.

Tara, Cross in Window, True Blood

True Blood: Whatever I Am, You Made Me

The beginning of  Episode 3 starts with visions of Tara wounds healing. The writers of the show have stated that the reason why Tara appeared to be so “feral” is because her brain had not fully healed. Hell, I just thought that her anger had magnified to such a degree that she had been rendered speechless. Sookie and Lafayette are as hot on her trail as two slow ass humans can be. Tara zips away from them and stumbles upon some potential prey – a young woman who is trying to change her tire. Try as she might, Tara just is not able to find it in her to take a bite of an innocent victim. Was it the cross hanging from the rearview mirror, or the reflection of herself that she saw in the window that changed her mind? Maybe it was a little bit of both. Either way, she apologizes to the girl and zips off. eric and bill, training bra stakes, true blood

Back at The Authority, Salome and Roman are trying to decide what to do with Bill and Eric. Clearly, they do not want a vengeful Russell Edgington on the loose, but do they really need Bill and Eric to help capture him? Duh, of course they do! Bill and Eric will capture him, or die trying! However, it is not going to be THAT easy! First we need that chick from Big Love to fit them with training-bra-stakes that detonate remotely. There’s an app for that!

How did Steve Newlin become the new Nan Flanagen? Well, he is and it’s funny.

Sookie heads out to Fangtasia to solicit help from Pam, but Pam is busy power-tweeting, on the search for her maker. She doesn’t have time to deal with Sookie and her damn Tara drama. All Sookie wants her to do is summon the neophyte and she’ll be on her way, but Pam is just like, “Fuck all y’all!” and pushes Sookie away. This enrages Sookie just enough to use her faerie powers and zap Pam. That was a whole lot of useless drama. Moving on. Later, Sookie and Lafayette return to Sook’s place to clean up after Tazmanian Tara and continue to muse over what to do now that they’ve turned Tara. “We needs a plan, Hooker!”

andy bellefleur, naked picture, true bloodAt Merlottes, Tara has downed about a dozen True Bloods and is thirsty for more. Sam is trying to get her to tell him who turned her, but she doesn’t tell him. Of course, it doesn’t take him long to put two and two together when she begs him not to tell Sook and Lafayette that she’s there. When she passes out, Sam tucks here in the walk-in freezer for safe keeping.

Andy Bellefleur is a local sex symbol on account of his Witch’s kids putting up a picture of his bare naked behind on the Facebook. After chastising his coworkers for wasting time on porn sites, Debbie’s parents show up to discuss her going missing. Are they werewolves, too?jason, teacher, true blood

Jason runs into some woman at the super market, apparently she used to be his teacher and she screwed him when he was her pupil. My guestimation is that Jason would have been at least 14 at the time. Later in the episode we see him go over to her house and they sleep together again. After they are done sexing, Jason has an epiphany and realizes that his intimacy problems stems from this sick fuck of a teacher taking advantage of him at a young age. “You mean that’s why I’ve been with a V addict, an inbred werepanther and a teenage Vampire? ‘cause of you??” This storyline is particularly creepy/revolting after spending the last couple of weeks following the Jerry Sandusky trial.  ::shudders::

Arlene is still trying to get Terry to tell her what is going on with him and Patrick. Terry says he is a horrible liar, so he’s not going to lie to her. The conversation goes a little something like this:

Terry: “Me and Patrick are going somewhere.”

Arlene: “Where are you going.”

Terry: “Classified.”

Arlene: “What are you going to do there?”

Terry: “Classified.”

Arlene: “How long are you going to be gone?”

Terry: “Classified!”

Arlene: “Well, don’t expect me to be waiting for you when you get back!”

I really want them to hurry on up with this storyline. It feels like it is draaaaaaaaaagin’.

Sam, Sookie, Merlottes, True Blood

I don’t know nothing!

Lafayette and Sookie show up at this moment, looking to see if Tara had been to Merlottes, and feign concern for an emotionally distraught Arlene. Sookie goes to Sam’s office to ask him about Tara, and Sam does that thing people try to do around Sookie so that she cannot read their mind. Thinking in your head, “Don’t think about that giant secret I’m keeping,” doesn’t tend to work. Since the freezer was the only light-tight place that Sam could find, that’s where he stuck Tara. He done good. Now, all Lafayette and Sookie have to do is make sure that no one opens the door until the sun sets. That’s easy enough, right?

ITara is in the walk-in freezer, true blood like how the “Out of Order” sign has “DANGER” on it as well. What am I in danger from in the FREEZER?? I also like how Sookie just shows up randomly to work, whenever the mood hits her… or, when she’s not being hunted by a psycho vampire or a jealous werewolf. Lafayette is right though, trying to control Tara is like trying to keep a pet alligator in a bathtub.

bill, eric, whorehouse, true blood, lorraineOur next flashback to the early 1900’s reveals how Pam was ultimately turned. People have had mixed reactions about learning that Pam and Eric were once lovers and that Pam forced Eric to turn her, ultimately foisting herself onto him… You know, versus Eric choosing her because of her general, overall fabulousness. The trip back in time also reveals that Eric and Bill have known one another for a very long time. When they first met, Bill was but a testosterone-filled neophyte being led around by his sociopath of a maker, Lorraine. The duo was using Pam’s whorehouse as their very own human buffet. So, basically, Pam trades her goodies in exchange for Eric putting Lorraine/Bill in their place. I actually like the more human side of Pam and seeing a single bloody tear slide from her eye did pull at my heart strings a teeny bit! It’s tough being in love with someone you know you can never have. Awww, Pam!  Later on, we hear the lesson that Eric taught Pam on what it means to become a maker.  Abandoning a new vampire is akin to tossing a newborn baby into the gutter. I imagine this remembrance will lead to Pam taking her responsibility to Tara a little more seriously.

Debbie parents catch up to Alcide at work. They know that he and Debbie had a fight. It was more than a fight, however, because Alcide abjured her! “And, by the way, your daughter is a V addicted slut who likes to screw other werewolves!” Oh, and the parents are werewolves too because they start talking about werepack stuff and I zoned out. Sookie, girl, you better find that tooth hiding under your counter! They is coming fa ya!

Andy is going around, playing detective, and questioning folk about whether or not they’ve seen Debbie. Sookie isn’t really a good liar, but since Andy isn’t the greatest detective, it doesn’t really matter. “Now, your brother said that you said that Debbie was batshit crazy! What does that even mean?” Uh, that she was batshit crazy! (See: Michelle Bachmann) “I bet she wasn’t too keen on you and Alcide being friends like you are. Is you banging him on the side?” Meanwhile, Lafayette is in the background, ‘bout to catch the vapors. We’s fuxed. And our asses is going to jail.”

Earlier in the episode, Roman tasked Salome to “Find out everything” she can from Bill and Eric prior to releasing them. Well, apparently the best way to do that is by having vampire sex, so naturally, she has to screw them both. Before screwing Eric, Salome let’s him know that she knew that Nora was his sister, and that she is surprised that he didn’t even try to save her. As if he could have. Pfft!  What is fascinating to me is how poorly these Authority members manipulate Bill and Eric. They have not fallen for one damn thing that they have tried to pull on them. Did she think that Bill and Eric (BFFs fa life!) wouldn’t tell one another that they smashed her? Really? During Nora’s torture session, she reveals that she is, indeed, sanguinist and that she wishes Lilith would rise from the ashes to rip mainstreamers heads off. She longs for her to dance in their muck.  Geez, melodramatic much?

jessica, fairy, faerie, true bloodJessica is at some “podunk” boutique, trying on cheap dresses when, what I presume is, a faerie walks in. She’s in the dressing room getting dressed when she smells him and gets all kinds of excited. “You smell awesome, what are you?” ::fang boner:: The faerie runs away from the boutique, jumps into his car, and drives to the middle of some field where Jessica, who is tracking him, is left to spin in circles as she inhales his yummy faerie essence! Aroused by this encounter, Jessica makes her way over to her fuck buddy’s house, Jason, but he’s all wallowing in his pity and isn’t up for getting it up. “I ain’t some mechanical bull you can come and ride on when you feel like it.” Jessica convinces him that she can just be his buddy, without the fuck, and that she wants to be there for him. Awww. I do love that Jessica. Oh, and if you ever wanted to know what faerie blood smells like, it apparently smells like cotton candy, fresh baked bread and sex. Wow.Hoyt, True Blood, Fangtasia, Eyeliner, Guyliner

WTF, Hoyt? Seriously? Guyliner? Seriously? FANGTASIA? SERIOUSLY?  I just can’t… That kid is a lost cause.

Back at Merlottes, Tara awakens to a red-headed Arlene amongst slabs of hanging red meat. That’s fitting because Tara rises up and tara, lafayette, true blood, walk in freezerbites the hell out of Arlene, draining her dry of every drop of blood! Haha, just kidding. It was all just a dream. When she really does wake up, Lafayette is handing her a True Blood, “Drank up, Hooker.”

Meanwhile, Alcide has cornered Sookie, telling her about how Debbie is missing and how worried he is. “You know how she back on that V. Bitch is batshit crazy!” Sookie tries to play it off, but seriously, who can keep lying to someone as fine as Alcide? I mean, it’s one thing lying to Andy, but Alcide? Later, Sookie confesses to Alcide that she killed Debbie, and he loses his ever-loving mind. Uh-oh! I hope he doesn’t tell! Who are we kidding? We know he loves him some Sookie. Once he calms down, it’ll be all about him protecting her again. Geez, you would think Sookie was a vampire and that she had fed Alcide some of HER blood. At least we know it’s real love and he ain’t after her for a taste of her faerie blood. Anyway, too bad they are in Lousiana, and not in Florida, because apparently you can chase a motherfucker down and shoot them all in the name of “Standing Your Ground” down there. So, she would have, like, been TOTALLY been in the clear. (And, NO, I am not talking about the George Zimmerman case, click the link. )

Rewind: Before any of that confession stuff happens, we hear Tara tossing Lafayette around, and a loud clang.

Arlene: “What in tarnation?”

::Sookie sees Tara exit the walk-in:: “Tara! What in the world are you doing in there, you silly thing?”

Tara: “You got to be shitting me.”

I know, right?

roman, christopher meloni, topless, true blood, episode 3Salome gets her third dick in one night – I mean, ew – this time, from Roman. All he takes off is his top, however, and I am not happy! I WILL see some Christopher Meloni ass before this is all said and done! I DEMAND IT! ::shakes fist:: He did look nice and muscly though. Yummy!

lafayette, witch, true bloodBack at Merlottes, Arlene gets under Lafayette’s skin when she chastises him, in her passive aggressive way, about having his own cousin turned into a vampire. She rattles him so much that his witchdoctor-voodoo self pops out and adds a gallon of bleach to his gumbo. Eek! Thankfully, Lafayette catches himself and dumps the batch. “I’m losing my mind, Hooker!”

By the way, when are they going to tell us what the fuck happened to Jesus?

The episode ends with Tara breaking into a tanning salon and trying to kill herself by lying beneath the UV rays.

Pam senses her: “You stupid bitch.”

Well, that is my review for this week. It’s all kinds of late, but well… I can’t spend ALL of my time doing reviews. Especially not the way that I like to do them.

Please be sure to follow me on the Twitter, @DeAnnaMisrahi, and follow my blog to keep up with all  of my reviews! Ciao!

Love and Hip Hop Review – Season 1, Episode 2

To read my episode 3 review, click here.

BEWARE: Profanity below. Be sure to check out my Love and Hip Hop, Week in Drama.

So, “the day following” the dustup at the club with Stevie J and Josheline, Ariane and Mimi are talking about the events that unfolded. Ariane wants to know how Mimi feels. “I am hurt. I am Pissed Off. I am embarrassed. I am disgusted.” (Waits for Momma Dee to pop out and say, “And, in THAT order!” Hood for dayz….) Ariane thinks that Mimi is “addicted to” Stevie, and she is willing to do all she can to break Mimi of that addiction. This is the second episode where she is mentioning Stevie’s dick, and in case you missed it, Stevie released pics of his dick – right along with RhiannaMan releasing pics of herself naked and a video of her rubbing one out. Seriously, watch at your own risk. Mimi is still going on and on about how she and Stevie have a kid together and it disturbs me that she does not realize that she is setting her daughter up to think that it is OK to accept a man treating you like pure doo-doo, all in the name of love. At the end of this segment, she “appears” to be unable answer whether or not she is going to leave Stevie.

This week, we are introduced to Rasheeda. She is a female, underground hip-hop entertainer. She has been married for 12 years to her husband, Kirk, and they have an 11-year-old named Kai, together. Rasheeda has 4 step childrens. That’s a lot! She has been signed to both Motown and Jive record, but they never understood her as an artist, so that shit didn’t work out. She went independent. We see inner cuts of her in some video with Kandi. (Full disclosure: I don’t listen to hip-hop music, nor do I watch videos, so I have not one clue who anyone is on this show.  From what I understand, most of them are not even well known to people who do follow hip-hop, so I guess they haven’t made much of a mark in the industry; or, they simply are no longer relevant.)

Kirk and Rasheeda are at their lovely home, in the kitchen, discussing what song Rasheeda will release first from her upcoming album. Besides being her husband, Kirk is also her manager. He has loads of confidence in his woman and her capabilities, which is awesome. They are debating between two songs, “Legs to the Moon” and “Marry Me.” I have to agree with Rasheeda that “Legs to the Moon” is more intriguing, going by the title alone, but her husband believes that “Marry Me” should be released first; and, since Rasheeda has not made the best decisions about such matters in the past, she probably should listen to her husband this time. So, “Marry Me,” it is.

Karlie Redd decides to pay a visit to Stevie J’s studio to see if he is cool with her ratting him out to his woman. In the real world, ie, not on a “reality” TV show, that would be a done deal. How will it pan out on Love & Hip-Hop? Well, we will have to wait a moment before we find out because the only man at the studio right now is Jose; and, she is wearing another tragic weave. She wants to know why Karlie spilled the beans about how she and Stevie J were behaving at the restaurant. Karlie tries to explain to Shenellica Joseline that if she doesn’t want anyone to know what she and Stevie have going on, she probably should not flaunt it. Joseline continues to deny that she and Stevie J kissed, and since we weren’t shown that footage, we have no clue whether or not Karlie is lying. It’s easy enough for them to have kissed when the cameras stopped rolling. I gotta say though, I like how Joseline goes from admitting that Stevie J was fucking her in episode 1, to demanding people show her proof of them kissing and “sexing” in episode 2. Boy Girl, shut up.

Sidebar: All joking aside, I do believe that Joseline is a female with manly features. The word is “androgynous.” Normally, I would not go in on someone about their looks/features, because that is not something that they can change. She has masculine bone structure but she cannot do anything about that. The problem is that she set herself up as the villainous sidepiece from the start, which means that I just cannot feel much sympathy for her. If she were a good person, people would react differently. Would some people still make fun of her for “looking like a man?” Yes, but she would have more people defending her.  I don’t even hold it against her that she has a stripper/prostituting past.

Anyway, Karlie is explaining to Joseline that she just wants to work with Stevie. Joseline needs Karlie to know that she is Steve’s number 1 priority. (Remember, she plans to make him a brazillian dollars? Seriously, I hardly understand what she is saying half the time, but I can totally see her thinking Brazillian is an actual number.) Karlie is not going to get in her way, but she appreciates Karlie’s old ass giving her advice. How old is Karlie anyway? People keep calling her old.

It’s time for Stevie J to “pop in” on Mimi, while she is out cleaning a home. She owns a cleaning service. (No shade to housekeepers, that’s hard, honest work!) He says that he was, “Looking a little bananas,” at K. Michelle’s party, and his attempts to call Mimi has not worked and he really needs to speak with her. He tells Mimi that his family is the most import thing in his life and that they are his number one priority; behind that dick of his, clearly. “At the end of the day, I love you, but working is how I get my money.” What part of “working” includes being sexually active with your artists? Someone please let me know.

Mimi wants to know what is going on with Stevie and Joseline.

Mimi: “Why would she throw a drink at you?”

Stevie:  “Uh, duh… I don’t know. She probably —- I don’t know!”

Mimi: “I want you to look me in my face and tell me you are not fucking this girl.”

Stevie: (with smile on face) “No, I’m not.”

Mimi: “Why the fuck is you smiling then?”

Stevie: (trying to hide smile on face) “No, I’m not fucking her.”

Mimi: “Have you ever fucked her?”

Stevie: “We ain’t fucking.” You know, like, at this very minute.

Mimi: “I don’t believe you. Why were y’all beefing?”

Stevie: “We were beefing because we were 2 hours late to the studio.”

Man, whatever. I can’t believe that Mimi has put up with this shit, on and off, for 15 years. Stevie wants to “talk serious” for a minute. He wants to cut Mimi in on a “couple” percent of the business. A couple of percent is actually 5% in his world. He wants to give Mimi 5% of the profits from Joseline’s project. What is this fool smoking? Mimi says, fuck that, she wants 10% of everything. She says, “I am ready to hit Stevie in the only place he is going to feel it, in his wallet.” Stevie wants to know what time she’ll be done because he wants to see her. Mimi says that she is going to be tired, maybe he can call tomorrow. Awww, look at her trying to play like she has some kind of back bone!

Question: When did repeating one line repeatedly become a suitable chorus for a song? I’m sorry but, anyone – literally ANYONE – can write lyrics like  these. I find this shit weak and offensive to my sensibilities. Oh, what am I talking about? This “Marry Me” song, which is supposedly a “female anthem,” you know, according to Rasheeda.

“Put it on em, make them want to marry me.” Over and over and over again. I’m sorry, but this shit is just whack.  Maybe they should have gone with “Legs to the Moon” after all.

Anyway, Rasheeda is speaking to her husband about what she expects for her next video. She wants a real director, a full storyboard, more than one camera, etc etc. Kirk says he needs her to be 100% on the video, and not just phone it on, as she sometimes tend to do. She said she gon’ be ready. “You know I am going to deliver because that’s what the fuck I do. When it’s time to be there, and there is time for something to be done, I’m going to be front and center.” Alright then, I guess we’ll see about that.

Erica has not had a real relationship with her mother for about 10 years, but since reconnecting, her mom has been trying to be in her life. They speak for a while about Scrappy, over frozen desserts. She wants to know if Erica is serious about making it work. I never believe Erica when she says that she is, honestly. She does seem like one of those people who hides her emotions behind a thick wall. I recognize it because I tend to be that way as well. Her mom says that she just wants Erica to be happy and that she knows that Scrappy can do more, because she has seen him do more. Erica says that it just seems that way to her mother, from the outside looking in, but things are good. And, even if things don’t work out with Scrappy, all that matters is that her child is happy. They then start to talk about when Erica’s mom was on crack, and sent to prison. Erica was sent to NY to live with her aunt and uncle. She said she would watch letters come to the house, from her mom, but her mom wouldn’t send her letters and she would go to church on Sundays, when she was 8, and just pray to get a letter from her. This part of the episode was truly heart wrenching, and I did feel Erica’s pain in that moment. As scripted as the actual set-ups are, on this show, this conversation was 100% real. For the record, her mom claims she wrote her letters but she thought that Erica was ashamed of her. Erica says that what she’s gone through has just made her stronger.

Mimi and Stevie J go to dinner and Stevie has a “grown and sexy” set up for them. Mimi says that Stevie has been really sweet since the night at the club, but she has a surprise for that ass. She pulls out some paperwork. She is asking for 20% of his profits from all projects. She wants to be partners with him.  In confessional, Mimi is saying that it is less than the 50% she should be getting for putting up with his bullshit over the years.  Stevie J’s counter offer is 10%, and it seems that later on Mimi accepts the 10%, although at the time she acts as if she’s not trying to hear that.  In confessionals, Stevie says, “When Mimi hit me with that paperwork, I was like, ‘Wooooooooow,’” what is he channeling Flavor Flav now? Good God. Anyway, he just says he wants to see her smile again, (have you considered keeping your dick in your pants?) and he plays a song for her at the piano. Mimi just has a shit-eating grin plastered on her face, because she’s eating all of that bullshit up with a spoon.  And Saving Our Daughters think that THIS chick is what teenagers need to look up to? GTFO! Oh, and by the way, Stevie’s voice sucks.

Meanwhile, Kirk is at a studio in Doraville (no, Boots ain’t nowhere around) waiting on Rasheeda to arrive. She shows up two hours late. Basically, Rasheeda is late because she does not have a stylist, and she has a lot on her plate with being a mom and an artist and her own stylist. Kirk fucks her vibe all the way up with his attitude, but truthfully, she’s being a diva. It is easy enough to call or text and let people know you are running late, because when it comes to shooting a video time IS money and having the video run over is going to take more money from their budget. She accuses Kirk of “fiddle-faddling” on the phone while she is doing real work. Well, I imagine that those people didn’t just materialize out of thin air and that Kirk probably had something to do with that, but anyway. After crying for a second outside, she comes back in to do the video to that WHACK ASS SONG, “Marry Me.”

Mimi goes to Karlie’s house so that they can catch up. Karlie apologies and says that if she had known that Mimi and Stevie J were together, she would not have said anything. Who believes that shit? Mimi says that there is no need to apologize if she didn’t know. Karlie goes on to rub salt in Mimi’s wounds by talking about the chemistry she witnessed between Joseline and Stevie. She says that it was clear to her that they were fucking. “Why you calling your manager, Daddy? I would never call my manager Daddy.” I want to know why ANY women calls the man they are fucking Daddy, PERIOD. Seriously, is this something women who don’t have, and have never had, fathers in their lives do?

Mimi: “Do you honestly think they are sleeping with each other?”

Ugh, I just can’t handle this simple broad.

Now that that is out of the way, Karlie needs to let Mimi know that she really wants to work with Stevie. You gotta love that bitch. (I mean that in the most sarcastic way possible.) She tells Mimi that Joseline is making it seem as if she is the boss and she’s running shit. Mimi says that’s not the case because Joseline works for both she and Stevie J. She tells Karlie about that 10% she has accepted from Stevie. She says, “He and I are going to partner up.” I can’t tell if she is just talking shit, or if she and Stevie have actually signed some papers. It almost came across as if she was saving face.

Stevie and Joseline are back in the studio.

Joseline (in confessional): “I have so musch love for Stevie! I owe him so musch and he will get rewarded for that. I love Stevie. Everyone else, I don’t give a fuck about!”

Joseline (in studio): “I have something else I need to talk to you about.” Camera zooms in on her face. “No fairy godmother this month.”

Stevie: “Huh?”

Joseline: “I don’t know if it’s my nerves but I have to go to the doctor to make sure nothing is going on with me.”

Stevie:  “How late is you?”

Josaline: “Almost a month. Three weeks.”

(Pause): That make-up job is TRAGIC.

Stevie: “Is it 3 weeks or a month?” (Yea bitch, get it right! This is important!)

Joseline: “Three weeks is almost a month.”

Stevie ain’t trying to hear it. “What else is good with you? We shouldn’t even be having this conversation, period.” If she was having periods, you wouldn’t be having this conversation! hahaha!

Anyway, is he serious? It doesn’t matter, because Mimi rolls in to lay down the law. She lets Joseline know that she is now Stevie’s business party and that Joseline works for her. Joseline tells Mimi that she is not running shit. Mimi asks Stevie what his feelings were on working with Karlie Redd. Stevie says that Karlie is a rat, and that he wasn’t feeling it. Joseline tries to pipe up and give her opinion, and Mimi shuts that shit down. She said it is not Joseline’s decision. In the end, Stevie sides with Mimi and agrees it’s about getting paid, at the end of the day. So, suck on that Joseline… Never mind, you might like it.

At Erica’s house, Scrappy drops in. They get past a little small talk and the discussion moves on to how Scrappy gets when he is stressed out and how he wears his emotion on his sleeves. He says when he is going through stuff, he just wants to be left alone, so this means he needs his own spot, where Erica can’t give him an attitude and ask him about where he is going. (How dare she?!) Scrappy says that he would tell her if he didn’t really want to work on their relationship. Erica says, truthfully, she and Scrappy work best apart. Whatever. At this point, it’s clear that neither of them are serious about a relationship and that they are doing this for the show. Do what you gotta do.

“You need to mind your business Karlie Redd. It’s time for me to give this bitch a reality check.” That’s what Joseline has to say about Karlie; and she means it. She “tracks Karlie down” at a gym, much in the same way Stevie tracked down Mimi earlier in the episode – meaning the producers set up the altercation. Joseline “asks” Karlie to please stop going behind her back asking to work with Stevie and to not talk to Mimi about her. Karlie thinks that both Joseline and Mimi are jokes at this point. One minute, one is telling her that she’s running shit, the next the other is saying that she runs it. She says she needs to know who Stevie J’s manager is. Karlie then proceeds to act as if she isn’t the one volunteering information to Mimi about what she has observed between Joseline and Stevie, saying that it is Mimi who is talking about Joseline, not her.  Joseline says that Karlie will work with Stevie J if she allows him to work with her. When will side-hos learn? You have no real power. It’s up to the man, who is using you like a cum receptacle, to make you feel as if you have power. THAT’S IT!

At the end of the episode, Joseline gets another dramatic “video ho entrance” when she arrives at the studio. She goes right into the bathroom, with the cameras, squats over the toilet and pisses on the pregnancy test. If she wasn’t a ho, this would be shocking. But, since she is, it isn’t. Of course, I doubt that she even actually pissed on it. It was one of those classic, TV scenes with people passing around a pissy pregnancy test as if it wasn’t just pissed on. I mean she has it all up in her purse. Who does that?

She brings Stevie the pregnancy test and he wants to know why she is bringing it to him. Because she’s picking you to be that baby daddy, dummy. When she walks into the studio, she is all “upset” and crying. Stevie wants to know why she’s upset. She tells him and he is like, “So, whatcha gon do?” Actually, that’s how Chris Rock asked it in his, “Never Scared” comedy routine. Stevie J wasn’t nearly as humorous, in fact, he was a complete dick about it. He starts talking about how she has photo shoots coming up, and all of this choreography she is going to need to be doing – basically, he’s pointing out that she can’t be pregnant and do that. It’s clear that his solution is to have her abort the baby. Eventually, he presses her on who the dad is, and she finally says that, over the last six months, the only guy she has been fucking is him.

Next week should be interesting! Sorry for any typos, I will proofread and fix it (again) tomorrow.

Remember to follow me on Twitter, @DeAnnaMisrahi, and follow my blog. Peace.

With all of the drama over the past week, I just felt this need to do a “pre-review” ahead of tonight’s show. In the aftermath of the season 1 premiere of Love and Hip-Hop: Atlanta, sex tapes, nude photos and a wave of “ratchetness” was unleashed via the Twitter and a boatload of gossip sites. It was the quintessential definition of a hot ass mess; which happens to be 100% representative of the show itself. (And, yes, I am still watching!) 

The day following the premiere, alone, we had K. Michelle and Karlie Redd tweefing; K. Michelle and MissJia tweefing; Joseline desperately scrambling to prove that she is, in fact, 100% female; and Mimi Faust volunteering to empower young girls via Saving Our Daughters. I mean, really?

This is Saving Our Daughter’s mission:

Saving Our Daughters creates the tools to get teen girls discussing key issues and fired up to take the power away from bullying, (cyber, gossip, face-to-face,…), date abuse, hate crimes, school violence, violence against women, and other esteem slayers.

There is not one woman on this show that I would have a young girl look up to. (ETA: I may change my mind about that after seeing Rasheeda’s introduction tonight, and Ariane seems OK so far – though she is not a main cast member.) Sure, Mimi is a great example of what NOT to do, but before she can go mentoring young women on self respect/esteem and valuing themselves, she needs to live that life. Since she has no recent history of living that life, she is not an appropriate role model. That is like someone saying, “You know who would be the best person to get someone off of crack? A current crackhead.”  NO! You don’t get a current crackhead, you get a recovered crackhead. You get someone who has lived a crack-free life for a considerable amount of time so that people can see that it is possible to get clean and live a productive life. Mimi can’t mentor young women about a damn thing because she herself is still one of those people suffering from “esteem slayers.” That goes to show that we have absolutely no clue of how to select our “heroes” these days. Just having a little fame is enough. I am rooting for Mimi to get her shit together, but she ain’t there yet and I would hate for some teenage girl to think that it is OK to hang around and let a man drag you through the mud for 15 years.

As far as Joseline, I am not even going to post links to all of that disgusting mess that came out about her over the last joseline, love and hip hop, vh1week. The video, where she is pulling an OctoMom and pleasuring herself, about made me vomit. I am just going to say that it is quite clear that that pussy has seen its fair share of dicks in its day and leave it at that. It’s also clear that she was born a woman. If you do want to see it, it’s just a Google search away. Enter at your own risk, and don’t watch on a full stomach.

This week the drama continued. Today, MempHitz went on Atlanta’s V103 to answer K. Michelle’s claims of abuse. I guess he could not remain quiet about it forever, not with his name being dragged through the mud. Besides, Toya encouraged him to speak out about it. The start of the interview, with V103’s Egypt, is light enough. He talks about how he and Toya went to Paris for their 1st year anniversary and about the reality show he is looking to pitch, anywhere but BET. He used to be VP of A & R at Jive Records, but now he has his own company, Do Work Enterprises, and he’s breaking into the “kid world.” With that out of the way, he just wants to clear his name and let the world know who he is. Whatever people think afterward, is up to them. He just doesn’t want to be slandered so that someone else can prosper. That someone else, of course, being K. Michelle.

First, he explains how he met K. Michelle. He was speaking to someone in the hallway (I presume at Jive Records), and he turned around to see K. Michelle there. He thought she was very pretty and was taken aback by that. She noticed that he was wearing a chain with his area code on it, and she wanted to know why he was wearing it. Once she realized who he was, she insisted on singing for him – and, of course, he was blown away. He goes into some more of his background at Jive records; he had a recording deal, was VP, and was handling three or four artists. Being a young CEO, he thought he could blow them all up at once, and blah blah blah, stop filibustering. Eventually, Egypt stops him and asked if he and K. Michelle had a volatile relationship. He says the relationship was “cool” and goes into how their relationship was not even supposed to happen, that they dated for 6 months and that he was going around introducing her as his “little sister.” She asked him why he was introducing her as his sister.

Egypt stops him and asks again, “Was the relationship Volatile?”

MeMpHitz: “Volatile, as in violent?”

Egypt: “Yes”

MeMpHItz: “No!”

He says that he has held women from swinging to hit him, even in high school. (Sounds like has been in volatile relationships, but he is claiming it’s he who gets abused.) He says he has never hit a girl in his life, and he can’t even spank his daughter.

Egypt: “Did K. Michelle put her hands on you?”

MeMpHitz: “Yes.”

MeMpHitz: “I love girls a little too much. Even in times when girls hit me the only thing I’ve ever done was hold those arms down.”

He reveals a time that he had to call the cops on K. Michelle for trespassing. It was back when he and Toya first started their relationship and she was in his room, asleep. K. Michelle left before the cops got there.

MeMpHitz: “If you can find one other woman in the world that can say that I have ever put my hands on her, I’ll confess to everything.” (Does that even make sense?)

Egypt: “Why would she come out and say this?”

MeMpHitz: “I don’t know how the devil moves, I just know he moves in ways that humans will never understand. All praises to Jehovah.”

MeMpHitz reveals that there was a time that K. Michelle was in a abusive relationship. He said that she would tell him stories about how some guy used to, “fight her like a man” and that she was raped. He calls her “damaged” and said he fell into a relationship that she insisted upon being in. He said that she would embarrass him in meetings with important people with her screaming. He wishes K. Michelle all the blessings in the world, and hopes that she sells a million records, just don’t slander him to do it.

That was the gist of the interview. I quoted them the best that I could, real time, with no time to pause. I do type over 100 wpm, but still, it was tough! Anyway, what I took from this interview is that both he and K. Michelle sound convincing, so it’s difficult to tell which of the two is lying. One red flag, for me, is that MeMpHitz admits to being in violent relationships, but he makes himself the victim of the violence. Another is that he is making it seem as if K. Michelle strong-armed him into being in the relationship. He also seems to believe K. Michelle’s claims of abuse, when she told him about her past. If she would lie about you abusing her, why do you still believe that she was abused at some point? Maybe she is just a sociopath who has discovered a way to get people to feel sorry for her? And the ultimate question is – Why, if she is lying, are you not suing her for libel?

Here is a legal definition of libel:

Libel  1) n. to publish in print (including pictures), writing or broadcast through radio, television or film, an untruth about another which will do harm to that person or his/her reputation, by tending to bring the target into ridicule, hatred, scorn or contempt of others. Libel is the written or broadcast form of defamation, distinguished from slander which is oral defamation. It is a tort (civil wrong) making the person or entity (like a newspaper, magazine or political organization) open to a lawsuit for damages by the person who can prove the statement about him/her was a lie. Publication need only be to one person, but it must be a statement which claims to be fact, and is not clearly identified as an opinion. While it is sometimes said that the person making the libelous statement must have been intentional and malicious, actually it need only be obvious that the statement would do harm and is untrue. Proof of malice, however, does allow a party defamed to sue for “general damages” for damage to reputation, while an inadvertent libel limits the damages to actual harm (such as loss of business) called “special damages.” “Libel per se” involves statements so vicious that malice is assumed and does not require a proof of intent to get an award of general damages. (Continue reading.)

If I am a man, who is being accused of beating the piss out of a woman, AND I DIDN’T DO IT, I am suing on principle. Oh, that ho is going to court! Maybe he doesn’t want the legal fees. Maybe he doesn’t feel that it is worth it because you can’t prove a negative. I don’t know. In the end, I don’t think we will ever have some definitive answer on this one.

At the end of the interview, MeMpHiTz mentioned a recording that he wanted to play for us. He said it wasn’t his voice, or any other man, but they never played it. He said he wanted to let us hear it, and if people still did not believe him, there is nothing he can do about it. Egypt pretended as if he didn’t say any of that, and just thanked him for the interview. I imagine that they didn’t have time to see what the recording was, or how he got it, so they didn’t want to get into trouble by playing it. I hope he releases it at some point!

Well, that’s it for my pre-review. I will be back with my review for tonight’s episode later.

HOLLYWOOD EXES

The Exes (L-R): Jessica Canseco, Mayte Garcia, Nicole Murphy, Andrea Kelly, and Sheree Fletcher

Andrea Kelly's booty

She has a nice ass, though!

On the season premiere of Hollywood Exes, we are first introduced to Andrea Kelly. She was married to R & B singer, and hebephile, R Kelly for 10 years. They have three children together and have been divorced for three years.. For some reason, they think that we want to see her swinging around a stripper pole, and that is one of the first images we are greeted with. She and R Kelly met because she was his principle dancer and they grew closer and fell in love. Awwww! Although being marred to Robert Kelly brought its fair share of glitz and glam, most of the public did not realize he was married (I know I didn’t know) and she felt like she wasn’t getting her just do. Their relationship, as it stands right now, is nonexistent. She is moving to LA to film this show start over and she is hoping to open a dance studio there.  Tony is her friend, confidante and assistant of four years and she does not know what she would do without him. Her children are going to stay in Chicago for now, because they are in school and she wants to be settled in LA before she uproots them. Ugh, she’s doing that ugly face cry thing (with little to no tears) that reality starlets think they have to do a half a dozen times per season. Please stop! That shit is tremendously annoying. When I see people fake-cry, it automatically makes me not like them and think that they are 100% disingenuous. Anyway, she is just so thrilled to be moving to LA because her “good friend” of 2 to 3 years, Nicole Murphy lives there.  Nicole Murphy

Speaking of Nicole Murphy, it is time to head on out to Los Angeles to meet her. As we all know, she was married to Eddie Murphy for 12 ½ years. The couple has five kids together and they have been divorced for about six years. She goes through the perks of being married to Eddie Murphy; the 40,000 square foot home, the private jet and having Johnny Gill take her man away the option of driving any high priced vehicle she desired. She then goes on to lament about how difficult it was for her to go from that to having to ride on airplanes with plebs and not having a chef anymore. She does this whilst traipsing around a home most of us would give our best friend’s right nut to have. Yea, I don’t feel bad for you, boo. She’s currently engaged to Michael Strahan, an ex-NFLer who is now filling gigs as a Jerome Bettis impersonator a commentator for FOX Sunday Football. Nicole is also working on several business ventures; something as unique (and not at all overdone) as a fashion line. She’s not a cliché at all.

Next up is Sheree Fletcher. She was married to Will Smith for three years, you know waaay back in the day before he became Will Smith? They share a 19-year-old son, which means child support ran out a year ago; hence, her doing this show. (I kid, I kid)  She and Will met during a taping of “A Different World,” and they were married within eight months. I’m surprised that didn’t last! She, now, develops her own line of skincare products, and she is married to Pastor, and ex-football player, Terrell Fletcher. The couple only see each other a few times a week because her husband’s “assignment” is to preach in San Diego. Why can’t she move there?

Nicole decides to take Sheree to a store to look at jewelry priced at hundreds of thousands of dollars, knowing that neither of them are actually going to purchase them. Sheree says that she and Nicole have known each other for about 17 years because their exes knew each other back in the day. I don’t understand the lady with the green hair, who is standing behind the counter. I guess once you’ve made it as jewelry designer to the stars, you can wear any color hair you want.

Mayte Garcia was married to Prince for four years, twelve years ago. She and Prince met when she was 16 years old, once she graduated from high school, she joined the band as a dancer.  She said, “I thought I was getting married for the rest of my life, and it didn’t.” Mensa Model alert. Her mother lives with her, kind of. She stays in the guesthouse out back. She’s an animal hoarder with five dogs, two cats, two fishes, five birds, plus two extra dogs out back. (So, you mean you have seven dogs?) She claims to be an actress and that she has been on many TV shows. (Which ones?) Now, she is looking to be in movies and, apparently, being on a reality TV show is the answer. (Hey, it worked to get Nene Leakes on Glee. ::shrugs:: Maybe Mayte, too, can play a stereotype.) She has her house and animals, now she just needs a man to share it with. She may want to start with getting rid of some of those damn animals and getting her mom an apartment off property.

Jessica Canseco, Hollywood ExesWe meet Jessica Canseco, ex-wife of Jose Canseco, and the only part of her face that moves is her mouth. Somewhat distracting. Anywho, she met Jose when she was 19 years old while she was a waitress at some dive in Cleveland. The two had a “whirlwind romance.” They were married for four years, and have been divorced for eleven. They have a fifteen-year-old daughter together, Josie. We see her in the car with her daughter, joking about her boobs hurting as her daughter slams her fingers into one of her tits. She says that their relationship is more that of a buddy/friend, which is probably not a good thing. She owns a cosmetic line and a tattoo business. The last thing she wants right now is a Jessica Canseco, Hollywod Exes, Daughter, Boobsrelationship. She also proves that she is usually the “fun one” in the group as she flashes her cooch at a room full of people. Mayte and Jessica meet up to talk about their famous exes and channel Shania Twain’s, “That Don’t Impress Me Much,” when they state that men, in the same field as their exes, can never live up to them. Mayte especially has a point. Steroids is all a baseball player needs to get to Jose Canseco status. JUST SAYING.

Apparently, there are no 8 lane freeways in Chicago, and Andrea Kelly has never seen a freeway with that many lanes. It is sort of stressing her out. She and her assistant are driving along, somewhere near Santa Monica, discussing whether that area would be good for her dance studio. People are honking their horns at them, because Andrea is driving like an old lady. She has decided that she will get a driver, because driving is just so hard! “Where is my Xanax?”

Jessica Canseco, Vaginal rejuvenation, hollywood exesJessica and Nicole get together for a vaginal rejuvenation session. Jessica says that the procedure is great because it makes everything the same color, and makes “it” look like a 12-year-old’s. “You can’t hide your age with your vagina,” she says.  Nicole is all up in her vag, and she is impressed with how well lasering a snatch works. She says something about the flap plumping up, etc. She is surprised when Jessica flips over to get her asshole done. “Why would anyone need to get THAT done? No one is looking at that!” I guess we finally know why she and Eddie Murphy didn’t work out. Yup, that was loads of shade. You know, in case you missed it. No sex for a week, but it didn’t seem to hurt much.

Jessica: “You wanna go to lunch?”

Nicole: “Yea, like, I have no appetite now. How about a drink?”

Mayte Garcia, Hollywood ExesMayte hires a matchmaker to come to her home to help her find a man. (Apparently, this is going to be her storyline) The matchmaker wants to get a sense of the type of men she has dated in the past. This, of course, is the perfect segue to her letting the matchmaker know that she was once married to Prince. She went from Prince to Tommy Lee, who she was with for two years. They broke up, according to her, because he wasn’t sure if he wanted more kids. The matchmaker wants to know if she feels that, because she has been with a couple of really famous men, it defines her as a dater. ::raises hand in seat and hops up and down:: “OOO, OOO, I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS ONE! PICK ME! PICK ME!!” Of course, Mayte says, “No, not at all.” I have a feeling that she wears the status of “Ex-wife to Prince” like a badge of honor, and she throws it into the face of any guy who ever dates her. I could be wrong, however, it’s just a sense that I get!Nicole Murphy, Hollywood Exes

Nicole and Sheree met with one another for lunch and it’s clear that they both just left the tanning salon as they are 4 shades darker than normal. It’s all good, brown skin is gorgeous, it just looks very unnatural to me.  Anyway, Nicole has something super duper heavy to share with Sheree.  (It’s Nicole’s turn to cry.) Nicole’s money was stolen from one of her trust accounts, and now she is suing. It was her savings and the money to grown her businesses. When you are rich, you have to stay on top of what is going on with your money, because people WILL take advantage.  All Sheree can do is sit there and shake her head in feigned concern.

Andrea gets a call from Nicole to invite her to dinner so that she can introduce her to everyone; of course, Andrea says yes.

Jose Canseco and Jessica get together to discuss moving in together. They both can date whomever they want, but their daughter will have both of their parents under the same roof if they do this. I think he just wants to be on the show. I mean, what else does he have going for him these days? He is trying to get back into baseball, but no one is trying to hear that. What did he expect after he wrote that book? Seriously? When you start to call people out for doping, you have to expect an ice cold shoulder. Anyway, Jessica is like “No way Jose!” I couldn’t resist. She is “shocked” by this proposal, but she wants to know who is paying all the bills. He hasn’t paid child support in seven years, so it is funny that he actually tries to suggest that she cover the bills since he covered them all when they were married. Child, please. At any rate, he wants her answer ASAP.

Hollywood ExesNicole has planned a party to welcome Andrea to the city and introduce her to the rest of the women. As Nicole and the other women are sitting around, waiting for Andrea, she says that she didn’t know that R Kelly was married, and all the women co-sign that shit. Seriously, who knew? We hear a bunch of gushes of, “Oh my goodness,” and “Oh my God!” as Andrea walks in. Why? I doesn’t know. After introductions are out of the way, and the food is brought out, Sheree chastises the women about digging into their food before praying. So, they pray. I sense a bit of bible thumping in our future.

Sheree wants to know what R Kelly thought about Andrea moving out to LA. She says there was no reaction. I guess he doesn’t care if his kids are hundreds of miles away? She wants to know when it gets to the “good part,” after a divorce. Sheree says you have to forgive and they just generally reassure her that it will get better. Drink and focus on the kids. That’s the solution. They discuss their men cheating on them, and how difficult it is with women throwing their pussies at them 24/7. Sheree says that she lost herself with being married to someone famous. Jessica shares with the women that Jose wants to move in with her and the women just think that that is a hoot. They suggest that she does not do it, but she is seriously considering it. “We must have been some bad mamma jamma’s to pull these mens!” says, Sheree, though, not verbatim.

Hollywood Exes PremiereIt’s time for the “partying” portion of the evening.  I can tell that Andrea’s friend is going to be messy. He just seems like the type. His comment about not liking “such and such’s” dress, on whomever he was talking about, just came across as snarky to me. 15 years ago, Sheree woke up with a tattoo on her butt, behind some tequila drinking, so she is going to pass on the shots. Nicole comments on all of the leering that Jose is doing as Jessica is on the dance floor and surmises that he must still be in love with her. To me, he just looks creepy.

All in all, this was just a basic introduction episode, where the public can get to know who the heck these women are, and who they were married to. I will say that they all were married to people who were pretty big in their fields at some point, and some still are. It’s not like with Basketball Wives, where I haven’t even heard of ANY of the men outside of Antoine Davis, Dwight Howard and Shaquille O’Neal. And, all of these women were actually married to their exes at some point. Not just some jump offs or side pieces that never had a chance in hell of getting a ring, let alone walking down the aisle.

The previews look like they may have some dustups, mostly involving Jessica. Jessica is a wild child, and it is no surprise that she and the preacher’s wife are butting heads. Jessica also gets into it with Mayte, when she calls her crazy. All I got to say about that is, if you don’t want people to think you are crazy, you probably shouldn’t overreact and start breaking glasses. I’m just saying.

Hollywood Exes premieres June 27th at 10pm on VH1. If you want to watch this episode prior to then, check out VH1.com.

Well, that’s it for this review. If you like what you’ve read here, be sure to follow my blog, follow me on Twitter (@DeAnnaMisrahi) and share it with the people you know! Ciao!

 

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