BEWARE: Profanity below! Check out my review for Episode 2 of Love and Hip-Hop Atlanta.
First of all, I gotta say that the opening for this reality show has got to be the most dramatic I’ve ever seen. This should already tell us what we have in store for us for this season! I am from Atlanta, so it will be very interesting to see how my city plays out from this angle. We already have the Real Housewives of Atlanta, but Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta plays to a younger demographic.
Here is the cast (L-R): K Michelle, Karlie Redd, Rasheeda, Mimi Faust, Joseline, & Erica Dixon
We start out the series premiere with Mimi and her man, Stevie J. They have been together fifteen years, which means that she has likely been cheated on hundreds of times and probably has had to make a few trips to the clinic along the way. Is that mean? Anyway, they have a 2-year-old daughter named Eva and Mimi is just ready for Stevie to man up. So, Stevie has Mimi driving them way outside of Atlanta, to the suburbs where he has a surprise waiting for her. When they reach their destination, we see that it is a house, which is a gift to her. I’m a little confused though, are they moving into that house, together, or is he just giving it to her? Is he kicking her out of the place they currently live? At any rate, when people start giving you gifts as big as an entire house, you pretty much know that they done fucked up.
Mimi is not really feeling him moving her all the way out into the suburbs. From where it looks like they are, it is a good 30-45 minutes outside of Atlanta. Stevie is all like, “Look hoe, you better take this house and be glad I’m not tossing you into some glorified apartment. You know how many bitches wish I was buying them a house right now? You ungrateful cunt!” Okay, he didn’t say any of that. That was just me reading in between the lines. He did make it clear that he still is not going to be around “like that” because he gotta get his money.
Next up is Erica. She’s a single mother and she has been dating the rapper Lil Scrappy on and off for about 10 years. They have a 6-year-old daughter named Imani. Lil Scrappy pops up on screen for 2 seconds to ignorantly proclaim some stuff about his affinity for the city of Atlanta, where he was born, and, apparently, will die. After his career took off, Lil Scrappy had a public affair with an Atlanta rapper named Diamond and it hurted Erica’s feelings. Diamond dumped Lil Scrappy to get with something bigger and better (OK, I don’t know if he is better) Soulja Boy, and Scrappy went crawling back to Erica with his tail between his legs. And, of course, she took him back. She clearly has a high sense of self-worth. Lil Scrimpy takes a pause to think when Erica asks him if he thinks he would be with her if Diamond hadn’t cheated on him. He comes up with a response that wouldn’t get him cut, and kept it moving. He tells her that she needs to give him more affection. You cheated on her, just how affectionate should she be?
It’s time to meet the singer on the show, K. Michelle. She is in the studio shouting into the microphone – shouting is not singing; someone needs to tell these young singers that. She is a single mother, a pianist and she rocks out with her cock out. She recently got out of a bad relationship and that’s what this album is about. She’s recording a break-up song, and once she gets into the groove, she does sound considerably better. Later in the show, she meets with Rasheeda to express her displeasure with her ex-record label and to tell her about the bad relationship she ended up in with the man who signed her to the record deal. She said he gave her everything she thought she wanted until one day he flipped and beat her ass. He even stole the money that was reserved for her recording budget ($2 Million!)to buy himself flashy jewelry, and in the end, she had nothing to show for it; not even the album. Even though other people knew what was going on, they did nothing to help her. The nature of the beast. (I presume that she cannot mention this man’s name on the show, based upon how cryptic she was in that regard. Allegedly, the man in question is Memphitz. Memphitz is currently married to Toya. If he really is as violent as K Michelle claims, I hope Toya don’t ever feel that wrath.)
Mimi goes to visit her friend, Ariane, (somebody should have told her mother that does not spell “Erin”) to whine about about Stevie J giving her a big ass house in the suburbs. Ungrateful! I mean, so what if it is out in the boonies and it will be harder for you to roll up to the studio to see what skank he fucking? It’s a new house! Anyway, she and Ariane have known each other for about 7 or 8 years and she knows all of the ups and downs, ins and outs, of Mimi’s relationship with her man. Ariane reads the situation pretty quickly and is all like, “Is the dick THAT good?” OK, now we all know good well that what keeps her in the relationship is the money and status. These women kill me trying to act as if that has nothing to do with it and that they aren’t at least part golddigger. OWN WHO YOU ARE. Mimi says that she has never met a dick that made her do cartwheels – but she has met a paycheck! Ariane pretty much tells her that she accepts the behavior by staying with him. I concur! Side Note: Evelyn needs to take notes on how to cry on cue from these chicks. They make real tears and everything.
Next, we travel to Kirkwood, which is in east Atlanta, to meet the show’s Latina flavor, Joseline (real name Shenellica, scroll down to see her mugshot). She gets a video ho vixen entrance before we see her little clip stating that she is a rapper, actress, and dancer. We got a triple threat y’all! She does have a nice ass (is it real?), but that weave is TRAGIC. So, she’s at Stevie J’s Studio, Block Studios. The first thing she does is show off her ass and he gives it a nice smack. Turns out, they’re fucking. Now, we already knew they were fucking, but I didn’t expect them to make it so obvious. I thought it would be one of those coy, “He’s just my producer/manager/everything, but we ain’t fucking,” kind of things. Nope. She puts that shit right on the table. I think I might actually respect that. Wait; scratch that. Did this bitch just say that Stevie fucks her brain? Yea… I take that respect thing back. She says that she wants Stevie forever. Good luck with that one.
Lil Scrappy heads over to his mother’s house, Momma Dee. My impression one sentence into Momma Dee’s introduction: She doesn’t seem quite as ghetto fabulous as say… a Frankie or Nancy. I mean, it looks like she would be able to spell psychotic if she had to. ::sighs:: I guess I should have waited to hear her speak before I placed her above Frankie and Nancy. Once she begins to express her displeasure about the people working on her home, it becomes clear that she is a lot more hood than she portrays herself in the “confessional.” At least she knows how to act as if she has some home training when she has to… Although, that gives me shades of Tami Roman. Tami knows how to act cool, calm and collected when she wants people to think she has sense, but eventually, the truth betrays her and we see exactly who she really is. Wait, how did I get back to Basketball Wives?
Anyway, Momma Dee used to pimp and sell crack back in the day. She did what she had to, to take care of her family. Even if what she did hurt the community she was raising them in even more. Yup, that makes sense! Momma Dee gives her son some advice on his relationship with Erica. She says that Erica doesn’t know how to show affection because she didn’t have a mother to show it to her while she was growing up; because her mother was a crackhead. Mmm…. I wonder if she bought her crack from Momma Dee? Lil Scrimpy ignorantly proclaims – I mean, dude is stupid – that affection has nothing to do with your mama. What? They move on to talking about Diamond and Momma Dee is determined not to let her son beat her out in the ignorance department and states that Diamond didn’t need a record deal, she needed a Massengill deal; because, apparently, she knows what her pussy smells like - and it stinks! She says that Diamond almost made her come out of early retirement and that she needed to put her on the track to sell that ass; since her son paid for it. All of this because Diamond did to her son, what her son did to Erica. What goes around comes around; if you are so wise, where is THAT wisdom, Momma Dee?
Momma Dee has Erica over to her house to have a heart to heart sit down, and to tell her all of the things she is doing wrong in her relationship with her son. “You gotta show him affection, hoe!” Erica says that she does show him affection. I’m sorry, if someone publicly humiliates me by cheating with another woman, I’m not going to be feeling all lovey, dovey with them. How is that even a reasonable expectation? I guess she is supposed to fake it for his sake, so that HE will feel better; what about her? Erica tells Momma Dee that she steps out of line as a mother, and Momma Dee tells her she doesn’t know what she is talking about because her mom was a crackhead. Erica said that she still had a mother figure in her life, she was raised by her aunt. Momma Dee says that Erica’s mother did crack in front of Erica, and that she would never do that. Yes, Momma Dee, the pimp and drug dealer is a much more superior mother than Erica’s. People like her is why Erica’s mom was able to get her hands on crack in the first place. People can’t smoke what they can’t get. HELLO? For the record, Erica denies that her mother ever smoked crack in front of her. Momma Dee goes on to have some “vision” about Diamond and Lil Scrimpy and some other stuff that I can’t follow. The bitch is crazy, and Erica confirms it when she gets Momma Dee to confirm that she has been off her meds for five days. That explains everything.
So, Mimi’s slow ass invites her man to dinner to discuss whether or not he is interested in living in their home, out in the sticks, together. Stevie says he’ll come home “more.” Bitch, please. Let me tell you from experience, the only way that man is going to be coming home from that studio is if he needs you to take care of him in some way. I mean, it has to be something major. A serious illness, perhaps. Otherwise, you are doing good to get him once a week. Mimi lays on him this super duper awesome idea – “How about you build a studio in the house?” Stevie J was ready for that one, though! He was quick to outline why it isn’t such a great idea, stating that you get a different “vibe” when you are at the studio, and being there stokes his creative fire. Besides, how is he going to have Joseline around giving him head lap dances and such if he is working from home? Naw, that one ain’t going to work. We need to keep this here separate. “So, that means what?” Mimi wants to know. Seriously? Like I said… Sloooooooow.
So, Stevie really isn’t all that great at this double life stuff. He invites Joseline to meet with an industry dude – Antonio Reid, LA Reid’s son; and, Karlie Redd, a singer and rapper from Trinidad. She has been wanting to work with Stevie J for a while. He wants to know if she is going for that Trini-sound. She says, no… she is going for that “R & B Swag,” whatever that is. Seriously, you should be able to define yourself just a little bit better than that. I do respect that she can just perform on the spot and is not shy about it. Joseline takes to Karlie immediately and suggests, after they show off their hot-bods, that they do a song together.
We know that with these “reality” shows, we always have to have at least one episode – usually the premiere – where someone has some kind of party where things pop off. Well, Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta is no different. The ladies get together for K. Michelle’s birthday party and K. Michelle is ready for them to dance off beat. OK, that off beat dance of hers was cute… those shoes with the blonde hair weave on them? Not so much. She looks great otherwise.
Karlie is thrilled, and shocked, to see Mimi when she walks in. They were close back when they both lived in LA, but lost touch over the years. Question: How is it that she didn’t know that Stevie J was Mimi’s man? I mean, fifteen years is a long time for Karlie NOT to know who her good friend was fucking. I guess the above is why it doesn’t come across quite so genuine when Karlie, out of the blue, starts to talk about Joseline and how real she is and how she is “ride or die” for her man. “Her man is Stevie J,” she says. Of course, Mimi and Ariane jump in to say that he is not Joseline’s man because he’s Mimi’s man! Karlie tries hard to pull off that, “Oh shit!” look, but she doesn’t do it that well. She keeps insisting over and over again that Stevie J is Josaline’s man because she “seen” it with her own two eyes. So, of course Stevie rolls into the club with Josaline as they are discussing the issue and this whole thing is looking more and more contrived by the second. K. Michelle plays Kesha for a moment, and got ghost, with a couple of the other girls, when the duo arrives at her table. I mean, K Michelle just got her hair done and she is not looking to get any drinks thrown onto it. What I need to know is why Stevie asks Mimi to go over and talk to Josaline? I guess he thinks she is going to be able to squelch Mimi’s fear that the two of them are fucking. Mimi tells Joseline that she has been going through so much with Stevie, as if Joseline gives a fuck.
While I feel that Karlie was intentionally being messy, she is at least going up to Mimi and asking her if she needs to make a choice between her, and working with Stevie in the studio. Mimi says that she would never put her in that position. Ariane wants to know what led Karlie to believe that Joseline and Stevie were “together.” Side Note: Anyone else think that Joseline sounds… “slow,” when she speaks? Anyway, she threatens Karlie, stating that she is being asked questions that will “fuck her up” in the end. In response to that, Karlie goes on to call Joseline and Stevie J all the way out, letting Mimi know how they were acting at lunch and that she did see them kissing. So, I guess Karlie has decided that she won’t be working with Stevie, after all. He calls her a rat, in confessional, but I would call that being a good friend. I STILL don’t know how she didn’t know her so-called friend was in a relationship with Stevie J. But, this is “reality” TV, which means it’s the exact opposite of that. Mimi doesn’t want to hear his lame, weak denials, and Stevie and Joseline accuse Karlie of getting a kick out of the mess SHE started. Really? I think the mess started when y’all started fucking. Just a hunch!
Ariane tries to save her friend, but Mimi just sits there as if she doesn’t know how to get up. Eventually, she figures it out and they exit stage left. Stevie J jumps over the couch to chase after Mimi, and Joseline throws a drink at him to single him back and let him know that she is not happy. Like the mindless, “I think with my dick,” puppy that he is. He runs back to Joseline and escorts her out the club. He then decides he must not be looking like much of a man, so he throws a drink back at Joseline once they are outside, messing up her “forur” wrap. Someone needs to tell her that “fur” only has one syllable.
Joseline goes to sit in the car and Mimi is standing by as Stevie follows behind, getting into the backseat with Josaline. Mimi is all like, “Really?” Yes, bitch, REALLY! She stalks up to the car and throws the door open and Stevie was like, “It wasn’t me!” “I was looking for you!” Joseline just wishes that Mimi would go home and “deal with her emotion” so that she and Stevie can go to the studio, where she is going to make him a billion dollars. I guess in her language “making a billion dollars” means “choking on ones dick.” In the end, after unsuccessfully convincing Mimi to go with both he and Joseline (huh?), Stevie decides to ride off with Joseline, and that’s where the show ends.
Based on the previews, this season is going to be a hot ass, drama-filled, mess; and I can’t wait!
Thanks for reading my review! If you would like to see the full episode before the premiere on Monday, Miss Jia has it up. Check it out on her site!
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The above is a mugshot of someone named Shenellica. Looks like Jos has had a lot of work done. I don’t blame her for changing her name, though. “Shenellica” is tragic.
- “Love & Hip-Hop: Atlanta” Cast Officially Revealed (therussparrmorningshow.com)
- ‘Love & Hip Hop Atlanta’ Cast And Premiere Date Revealed (crunktastical.net)
- Who Looked More Bangin’ At The Love And Hip-Hop Atlanta Premiere Party? (bossip.com)
- Love & Hip Hop Atlanta’s K Michelle values balance and Basketball Wives (examiner.com)
- Love & Hip Hop Premieres In ATL, B.G. Sentencing Date, Rare El-P Show In NY (allhiphop.com)
- EXCLUSIVE: Lil Scrappy Speaks on Film and TV Projects; Debuts on “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” Tonight (allhiphop.com)
- Lil Scrappy, Cash Out Bring ATL Love To ‘RapFix Live’ (mtv.com)