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Posts tagged ‘reality show reviews’

Love and Hip-Hop, Season 1 Episode 2 Review & Recap

Love and Hip Hop Review – Season 1, Episode 2

To read my episode 3 review, click here.

BEWARE: Profanity below. Be sure to check out my Love and Hip Hop, Week in Drama.

So, “the day following” the dustup at the club with Stevie J and Josheline, Ariane and Mimi are talking about the events that unfolded. Ariane wants to know how Mimi feels. “I am hurt. I am Pissed Off. I am embarrassed. I am disgusted.” (Waits for Momma Dee to pop out and say, “And, in THAT order!” Hood for dayz….) Ariane thinks that Mimi is “addicted to” Stevie, and she is willing to do all she can to break Mimi of that addiction. This is the second episode where she is mentioning Stevie’s dick, and in case you missed it, Stevie released pics of his dick – right along with RhiannaMan releasing pics of herself naked and a video of her rubbing one out. Seriously, watch at your own risk. Mimi is still going on and on about how she and Stevie have a kid together and it disturbs me that she does not realize that she is setting her daughter up to think that it is OK to accept a man treating you like pure doo-doo, all in the name of love. At the end of this segment, she “appears” to be unable answer whether or not she is going to leave Stevie.

This week, we are introduced to Rasheeda. She is a female, underground hip-hop entertainer. She has been married for 12 years to her husband, Kirk, and they have an 11-year-old named Kai, together. Rasheeda has 4 step childrens. That’s a lot! She has been signed to both Motown and Jive record, but they never understood her as an artist, so that shit didn’t work out. She went independent. We see inner cuts of her in some video with Kandi. (Full disclosure: I don’t listen to hip-hop music, nor do I watch videos, so I have not one clue who anyone is on this show.  From what I understand, most of them are not even well known to people who do follow hip-hop, so I guess they haven’t made much of a mark in the industry; or, they simply are no longer relevant.)

Kirk and Rasheeda are at their lovely home, in the kitchen, discussing what song Rasheeda will release first from her upcoming album. Besides being her husband, Kirk is also her manager. He has loads of confidence in his woman and her capabilities, which is awesome. They are debating between two songs, “Legs to the Moon” and “Marry Me.” I have to agree with Rasheeda that “Legs to the Moon” is more intriguing, going by the title alone, but her husband believes that “Marry Me” should be released first; and, since Rasheeda has not made the best decisions about such matters in the past, she probably should listen to her husband this time. So, “Marry Me,” it is.

Karlie Redd decides to pay a visit to Stevie J’s studio to see if he is cool with her ratting him out to his woman. In the real world, ie, not on a “reality” TV show, that would be a done deal. How will it pan out on Love & Hip-Hop? Well, we will have to wait a moment before we find out because the only man at the studio right now is Jose; and, she is wearing another tragic weave. She wants to know why Karlie spilled the beans about how she and Stevie J were behaving at the restaurant. Karlie tries to explain to Shenellica Joseline that if she doesn’t want anyone to know what she and Stevie have going on, she probably should not flaunt it. Joseline continues to deny that she and Stevie J kissed, and since we weren’t shown that footage, we have no clue whether or not Karlie is lying. It’s easy enough for them to have kissed when the cameras stopped rolling. I gotta say though, I like how Joseline goes from admitting that Stevie J was fucking her in episode 1, to demanding people show her proof of them kissing and “sexing” in episode 2. Boy Girl, shut up.

Sidebar: All joking aside, I do believe that Joseline is a female with manly features. The word is “androgynous.” Normally, I would not go in on someone about their looks/features, because that is not something that they can change. She has masculine bone structure but she cannot do anything about that. The problem is that she set herself up as the villainous sidepiece from the start, which means that I just cannot feel much sympathy for her. If she were a good person, people would react differently. Would some people still make fun of her for “looking like a man?” Yes, but she would have more people defending her.  I don’t even hold it against her that she has a stripper/prostituting past.

Anyway, Karlie is explaining to Joseline that she just wants to work with Stevie. Joseline needs Karlie to know that she is Steve’s number 1 priority. (Remember, she plans to make him a brazillian dollars? Seriously, I hardly understand what she is saying half the time, but I can totally see her thinking Brazillian is an actual number.) Karlie is not going to get in her way, but she appreciates Karlie’s old ass giving her advice. How old is Karlie anyway? People keep calling her old.

It’s time for Stevie J to “pop in” on Mimi, while she is out cleaning a home. She owns a cleaning service. (No shade to housekeepers, that’s hard, honest work!) He says that he was, “Looking a little bananas,” at K. Michelle’s party, and his attempts to call Mimi has not worked and he really needs to speak with her. He tells Mimi that his family is the most import thing in his life and that they are his number one priority; behind that dick of his, clearly. “At the end of the day, I love you, but working is how I get my money.” What part of “working” includes being sexually active with your artists? Someone please let me know.

Mimi wants to know what is going on with Stevie and Joseline.

Mimi: “Why would she throw a drink at you?”

Stevie:  “Uh, duh… I don’t know. She probably —- I don’t know!”

Mimi: “I want you to look me in my face and tell me you are not fucking this girl.”

Stevie: (with smile on face) “No, I’m not.”

Mimi: “Why the fuck is you smiling then?”

Stevie: (trying to hide smile on face) “No, I’m not fucking her.”

Mimi: “Have you ever fucked her?”

Stevie: “We ain’t fucking.” You know, like, at this very minute.

Mimi: “I don’t believe you. Why were y’all beefing?”

Stevie: “We were beefing because we were 2 hours late to the studio.”

Man, whatever. I can’t believe that Mimi has put up with this shit, on and off, for 15 years. Stevie wants to “talk serious” for a minute. He wants to cut Mimi in on a “couple” percent of the business. A couple of percent is actually 5% in his world. He wants to give Mimi 5% of the profits from Joseline’s project. What is this fool smoking? Mimi says, fuck that, she wants 10% of everything. She says, “I am ready to hit Stevie in the only place he is going to feel it, in his wallet.” Stevie wants to know what time she’ll be done because he wants to see her. Mimi says that she is going to be tired, maybe he can call tomorrow. Awww, look at her trying to play like she has some kind of back bone!

Question: When did repeating one line repeatedly become a suitable chorus for a song? I’m sorry but, anyone – literally ANYONE – can write lyrics like  these. I find this shit weak and offensive to my sensibilities. Oh, what am I talking about? This “Marry Me” song, which is supposedly a “female anthem,” you know, according to Rasheeda.

“Put it on em, make them want to marry me.” Over and over and over again. I’m sorry, but this shit is just whack.  Maybe they should have gone with “Legs to the Moon” after all.

Anyway, Rasheeda is speaking to her husband about what she expects for her next video. She wants a real director, a full storyboard, more than one camera, etc etc. Kirk says he needs her to be 100% on the video, and not just phone it on, as she sometimes tend to do. She said she gon’ be ready. “You know I am going to deliver because that’s what the fuck I do. When it’s time to be there, and there is time for something to be done, I’m going to be front and center.” Alright then, I guess we’ll see about that.

Erica has not had a real relationship with her mother for about 10 years, but since reconnecting, her mom has been trying to be in her life. They speak for a while about Scrappy, over frozen desserts. She wants to know if Erica is serious about making it work. I never believe Erica when she says that she is, honestly. She does seem like one of those people who hides her emotions behind a thick wall. I recognize it because I tend to be that way as well. Her mom says that she just wants Erica to be happy and that she knows that Scrappy can do more, because she has seen him do more. Erica says that it just seems that way to her mother, from the outside looking in, but things are good. And, even if things don’t work out with Scrappy, all that matters is that her child is happy. They then start to talk about when Erica’s mom was on crack, and sent to prison. Erica was sent to NY to live with her aunt and uncle. She said she would watch letters come to the house, from her mom, but her mom wouldn’t send her letters and she would go to church on Sundays, when she was 8, and just pray to get a letter from her. This part of the episode was truly heart wrenching, and I did feel Erica’s pain in that moment. As scripted as the actual set-ups are, on this show, this conversation was 100% real. For the record, her mom claims she wrote her letters but she thought that Erica was ashamed of her. Erica says that what she’s gone through has just made her stronger.

Mimi and Stevie J go to dinner and Stevie has a “grown and sexy” set up for them. Mimi says that Stevie has been really sweet since the night at the club, but she has a surprise for that ass. She pulls out some paperwork. She is asking for 20% of his profits from all projects. She wants to be partners with him.  In confessional, Mimi is saying that it is less than the 50% she should be getting for putting up with his bullshit over the years.  Stevie J’s counter offer is 10%, and it seems that later on Mimi accepts the 10%, although at the time she acts as if she’s not trying to hear that.  In confessionals, Stevie says, “When Mimi hit me with that paperwork, I was like, ‘Wooooooooow,’” what is he channeling Flavor Flav now? Good God. Anyway, he just says he wants to see her smile again, (have you considered keeping your dick in your pants?) and he plays a song for her at the piano. Mimi just has a shit-eating grin plastered on her face, because she’s eating all of that bullshit up with a spoon.  And Saving Our Daughters think that THIS chick is what teenagers need to look up to? GTFO! Oh, and by the way, Stevie’s voice sucks.

Meanwhile, Kirk is at a studio in Doraville (no, Boots ain’t nowhere around) waiting on Rasheeda to arrive. She shows up two hours late. Basically, Rasheeda is late because she does not have a stylist, and she has a lot on her plate with being a mom and an artist and her own stylist. Kirk fucks her vibe all the way up with his attitude, but truthfully, she’s being a diva. It is easy enough to call or text and let people know you are running late, because when it comes to shooting a video time IS money and having the video run over is going to take more money from their budget. She accuses Kirk of “fiddle-faddling” on the phone while she is doing real work. Well, I imagine that those people didn’t just materialize out of thin air and that Kirk probably had something to do with that, but anyway. After crying for a second outside, she comes back in to do the video to that WHACK ASS SONG, “Marry Me.”

Mimi goes to Karlie’s house so that they can catch up. Karlie apologies and says that if she had known that Mimi and Stevie J were together, she would not have said anything. Who believes that shit? Mimi says that there is no need to apologize if she didn’t know. Karlie goes on to rub salt in Mimi’s wounds by talking about the chemistry she witnessed between Joseline and Stevie. She says that it was clear to her that they were fucking. “Why you calling your manager, Daddy? I would never call my manager Daddy.” I want to know why ANY women calls the man they are fucking Daddy, PERIOD. Seriously, is this something women who don’t have, and have never had, fathers in their lives do?

Mimi: “Do you honestly think they are sleeping with each other?”

Ugh, I just can’t handle this simple broad.

Now that that is out of the way, Karlie needs to let Mimi know that she really wants to work with Stevie. You gotta love that bitch. (I mean that in the most sarcastic way possible.) She tells Mimi that Joseline is making it seem as if she is the boss and she’s running shit. Mimi says that’s not the case because Joseline works for both she and Stevie J. She tells Karlie about that 10% she has accepted from Stevie. She says, “He and I are going to partner up.” I can’t tell if she is just talking shit, or if she and Stevie have actually signed some papers. It almost came across as if she was saving face.

Stevie and Joseline are back in the studio.

Joseline (in confessional): “I have so musch love for Stevie! I owe him so musch and he will get rewarded for that. I love Stevie. Everyone else, I don’t give a fuck about!”

Joseline (in studio): “I have something else I need to talk to you about.” Camera zooms in on her face. “No fairy godmother this month.”

Stevie: “Huh?”

Joseline: “I don’t know if it’s my nerves but I have to go to the doctor to make sure nothing is going on with me.”

Stevie:  “How late is you?”

Josaline: “Almost a month. Three weeks.”

(Pause): That make-up job is TRAGIC.

Stevie: “Is it 3 weeks or a month?” (Yea bitch, get it right! This is important!)

Joseline: “Three weeks is almost a month.”

Stevie ain’t trying to hear it. “What else is good with you? We shouldn’t even be having this conversation, period.” If she was having periods, you wouldn’t be having this conversation! hahaha!

Anyway, is he serious? It doesn’t matter, because Mimi rolls in to lay down the law. She lets Joseline know that she is now Stevie’s business party and that Joseline works for her. Joseline tells Mimi that she is not running shit. Mimi asks Stevie what his feelings were on working with Karlie Redd. Stevie says that Karlie is a rat, and that he wasn’t feeling it. Joseline tries to pipe up and give her opinion, and Mimi shuts that shit down. She said it is not Joseline’s decision. In the end, Stevie sides with Mimi and agrees it’s about getting paid, at the end of the day. So, suck on that Joseline… Never mind, you might like it.

At Erica’s house, Scrappy drops in. They get past a little small talk and the discussion moves on to how Scrappy gets when he is stressed out and how he wears his emotion on his sleeves. He says when he is going through stuff, he just wants to be left alone, so this means he needs his own spot, where Erica can’t give him an attitude and ask him about where he is going. (How dare she?!) Scrappy says that he would tell her if he didn’t really want to work on their relationship. Erica says, truthfully, she and Scrappy work best apart. Whatever. At this point, it’s clear that neither of them are serious about a relationship and that they are doing this for the show. Do what you gotta do.

“You need to mind your business Karlie Redd. It’s time for me to give this bitch a reality check.” That’s what Joseline has to say about Karlie; and she means it. She “tracks Karlie down” at a gym, much in the same way Stevie tracked down Mimi earlier in the episode – meaning the producers set up the altercation. Joseline “asks” Karlie to please stop going behind her back asking to work with Stevie and to not talk to Mimi about her. Karlie thinks that both Joseline and Mimi are jokes at this point. One minute, one is telling her that she’s running shit, the next the other is saying that she runs it. She says she needs to know who Stevie J’s manager is. Karlie then proceeds to act as if she isn’t the one volunteering information to Mimi about what she has observed between Joseline and Stevie, saying that it is Mimi who is talking about Joseline, not her.  Joseline says that Karlie will work with Stevie J if she allows him to work with her. When will side-hos learn? You have no real power. It’s up to the man, who is using you like a cum receptacle, to make you feel as if you have power. THAT’S IT!

At the end of the episode, Joseline gets another dramatic “video ho entrance” when she arrives at the studio. She goes right into the bathroom, with the cameras, squats over the toilet and pisses on the pregnancy test. If she wasn’t a ho, this would be shocking. But, since she is, it isn’t. Of course, I doubt that she even actually pissed on it. It was one of those classic, TV scenes with people passing around a pissy pregnancy test as if it wasn’t just pissed on. I mean she has it all up in her purse. Who does that?

She brings Stevie the pregnancy test and he wants to know why she is bringing it to him. Because she’s picking you to be that baby daddy, dummy. When she walks into the studio, she is all “upset” and crying. Stevie wants to know why she’s upset. She tells him and he is like, “So, whatcha gon do?” Actually, that’s how Chris Rock asked it in his, “Never Scared” comedy routine. Stevie J wasn’t nearly as humorous, in fact, he was a complete dick about it. He starts talking about how she has photo shoots coming up, and all of this choreography she is going to need to be doing – basically, he’s pointing out that she can’t be pregnant and do that. It’s clear that his solution is to have her abort the baby. Eventually, he presses her on who the dad is, and she finally says that, over the last six months, the only guy she has been fucking is him.

Next week should be interesting! Sorry for any typos, I will proofread and fix it (again) tomorrow.

Remember to follow me on Twitter, @DeAnnaMisrahi, and follow my blog. Peace.

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