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Posts tagged ‘recap’

True Blood, Season 5 Episode 3: Whatever I Am, You Made Me Review & Recap

Tara, Cross in Window, True Blood

True Blood: Whatever I Am, You Made Me

The beginning of  Episode 3 starts with visions of Tara wounds healing. The writers of the show have stated that the reason why Tara appeared to be so “feral” is because her brain had not fully healed. Hell, I just thought that her anger had magnified to such a degree that she had been rendered speechless. Sookie and Lafayette are as hot on her trail as two slow ass humans can be. Tara zips away from them and stumbles upon some potential prey – a young woman who is trying to change her tire. Try as she might, Tara just is not able to find it in her to take a bite of an innocent victim. Was it the cross hanging from the rearview mirror, or the reflection of herself that she saw in the window that changed her mind? Maybe it was a little bit of both. Either way, she apologizes to the girl and zips off. eric and bill, training bra stakes, true blood

Back at The Authority, Salome and Roman are trying to decide what to do with Bill and Eric. Clearly, they do not want a vengeful Russell Edgington on the loose, but do they really need Bill and Eric to help capture him? Duh, of course they do! Bill and Eric will capture him, or die trying! However, it is not going to be THAT easy! First we need that chick from Big Love to fit them with training-bra-stakes that detonate remotely. There’s an app for that!

How did Steve Newlin become the new Nan Flanagen? Well, he is and it’s funny.

Sookie heads out to Fangtasia to solicit help from Pam, but Pam is busy power-tweeting, on the search for her maker. She doesn’t have time to deal with Sookie and her damn Tara drama. All Sookie wants her to do is summon the neophyte and she’ll be on her way, but Pam is just like, “Fuck all y’all!” and pushes Sookie away. This enrages Sookie just enough to use her faerie powers and zap Pam. That was a whole lot of useless drama. Moving on. Later, Sookie and Lafayette return to Sook’s place to clean up after Tazmanian Tara and continue to muse over what to do now that they’ve turned Tara. “We needs a plan, Hooker!”

andy bellefleur, naked picture, true bloodAt Merlottes, Tara has downed about a dozen True Bloods and is thirsty for more. Sam is trying to get her to tell him who turned her, but she doesn’t tell him. Of course, it doesn’t take him long to put two and two together when she begs him not to tell Sook and Lafayette that she’s there. When she passes out, Sam tucks here in the walk-in freezer for safe keeping.

Andy Bellefleur is a local sex symbol on account of his Witch’s kids putting up a picture of his bare naked behind on the Facebook. After chastising his coworkers for wasting time on porn sites, Debbie’s parents show up to discuss her going missing. Are they werewolves, too?jason, teacher, true blood

Jason runs into some woman at the super market, apparently she used to be his teacher and she screwed him when he was her pupil. My guestimation is that Jason would have been at least 14 at the time. Later in the episode we see him go over to her house and they sleep together again. After they are done sexing, Jason has an epiphany and realizes that his intimacy problems stems from this sick fuck of a teacher taking advantage of him at a young age. “You mean that’s why I’ve been with a V addict, an inbred werepanther and a teenage Vampire? ‘cause of you??” This storyline is particularly creepy/revolting after spending the last couple of weeks following the Jerry Sandusky trial.  ::shudders::

Arlene is still trying to get Terry to tell her what is going on with him and Patrick. Terry says he is a horrible liar, so he’s not going to lie to her. The conversation goes a little something like this:

Terry: “Me and Patrick are going somewhere.”

Arlene: “Where are you going.”

Terry: “Classified.”

Arlene: “What are you going to do there?”

Terry: “Classified.”

Arlene: “How long are you going to be gone?”

Terry: “Classified!”

Arlene: “Well, don’t expect me to be waiting for you when you get back!”

I really want them to hurry on up with this storyline. It feels like it is draaaaaaaaaagin’.

Sam, Sookie, Merlottes, True Blood

I don’t know nothing!

Lafayette and Sookie show up at this moment, looking to see if Tara had been to Merlottes, and feign concern for an emotionally distraught Arlene. Sookie goes to Sam’s office to ask him about Tara, and Sam does that thing people try to do around Sookie so that she cannot read their mind. Thinking in your head, “Don’t think about that giant secret I’m keeping,” doesn’t tend to work. Since the freezer was the only light-tight place that Sam could find, that’s where he stuck Tara. He done good. Now, all Lafayette and Sookie have to do is make sure that no one opens the door until the sun sets. That’s easy enough, right?

ITara is in the walk-in freezer, true blood like how the “Out of Order” sign has “DANGER” on it as well. What am I in danger from in the FREEZER?? I also like how Sookie just shows up randomly to work, whenever the mood hits her… or, when she’s not being hunted by a psycho vampire or a jealous werewolf. Lafayette is right though, trying to control Tara is like trying to keep a pet alligator in a bathtub.

bill, eric, whorehouse, true blood, lorraineOur next flashback to the early 1900’s reveals how Pam was ultimately turned. People have had mixed reactions about learning that Pam and Eric were once lovers and that Pam forced Eric to turn her, ultimately foisting herself onto him… You know, versus Eric choosing her because of her general, overall fabulousness. The trip back in time also reveals that Eric and Bill have known one another for a very long time. When they first met, Bill was but a testosterone-filled neophyte being led around by his sociopath of a maker, Lorraine. The duo was using Pam’s whorehouse as their very own human buffet. So, basically, Pam trades her goodies in exchange for Eric putting Lorraine/Bill in their place. I actually like the more human side of Pam and seeing a single bloody tear slide from her eye did pull at my heart strings a teeny bit! It’s tough being in love with someone you know you can never have. Awww, Pam!  Later on, we hear the lesson that Eric taught Pam on what it means to become a maker.  Abandoning a new vampire is akin to tossing a newborn baby into the gutter. I imagine this remembrance will lead to Pam taking her responsibility to Tara a little more seriously.

Debbie parents catch up to Alcide at work. They know that he and Debbie had a fight. It was more than a fight, however, because Alcide abjured her! “And, by the way, your daughter is a V addicted slut who likes to screw other werewolves!” Oh, and the parents are werewolves too because they start talking about werepack stuff and I zoned out. Sookie, girl, you better find that tooth hiding under your counter! They is coming fa ya!

Andy is going around, playing detective, and questioning folk about whether or not they’ve seen Debbie. Sookie isn’t really a good liar, but since Andy isn’t the greatest detective, it doesn’t really matter. “Now, your brother said that you said that Debbie was batshit crazy! What does that even mean?” Uh, that she was batshit crazy! (See: Michelle Bachmann) “I bet she wasn’t too keen on you and Alcide being friends like you are. Is you banging him on the side?” Meanwhile, Lafayette is in the background, ‘bout to catch the vapors. We’s fuxed. And our asses is going to jail.”

Earlier in the episode, Roman tasked Salome to “Find out everything” she can from Bill and Eric prior to releasing them. Well, apparently the best way to do that is by having vampire sex, so naturally, she has to screw them both. Before screwing Eric, Salome let’s him know that she knew that Nora was his sister, and that she is surprised that he didn’t even try to save her. As if he could have. Pfft!  What is fascinating to me is how poorly these Authority members manipulate Bill and Eric. They have not fallen for one damn thing that they have tried to pull on them. Did she think that Bill and Eric (BFFs fa life!) wouldn’t tell one another that they smashed her? Really? During Nora’s torture session, she reveals that she is, indeed, sanguinist and that she wishes Lilith would rise from the ashes to rip mainstreamers heads off. She longs for her to dance in their muck.  Geez, melodramatic much?

jessica, fairy, faerie, true bloodJessica is at some “podunk” boutique, trying on cheap dresses when, what I presume is, a faerie walks in. She’s in the dressing room getting dressed when she smells him and gets all kinds of excited. “You smell awesome, what are you?” ::fang boner:: The faerie runs away from the boutique, jumps into his car, and drives to the middle of some field where Jessica, who is tracking him, is left to spin in circles as she inhales his yummy faerie essence! Aroused by this encounter, Jessica makes her way over to her fuck buddy’s house, Jason, but he’s all wallowing in his pity and isn’t up for getting it up. “I ain’t some mechanical bull you can come and ride on when you feel like it.” Jessica convinces him that she can just be his buddy, without the fuck, and that she wants to be there for him. Awww. I do love that Jessica. Oh, and if you ever wanted to know what faerie blood smells like, it apparently smells like cotton candy, fresh baked bread and sex. Wow.Hoyt, True Blood, Fangtasia, Eyeliner, Guyliner

WTF, Hoyt? Seriously? Guyliner? Seriously? FANGTASIA? SERIOUSLY?  I just can’t… That kid is a lost cause.

Back at Merlottes, Tara awakens to a red-headed Arlene amongst slabs of hanging red meat. That’s fitting because Tara rises up and tara, lafayette, true blood, walk in freezerbites the hell out of Arlene, draining her dry of every drop of blood! Haha, just kidding. It was all just a dream. When she really does wake up, Lafayette is handing her a True Blood, “Drank up, Hooker.”

Meanwhile, Alcide has cornered Sookie, telling her about how Debbie is missing and how worried he is. “You know how she back on that V. Bitch is batshit crazy!” Sookie tries to play it off, but seriously, who can keep lying to someone as fine as Alcide? I mean, it’s one thing lying to Andy, but Alcide? Later, Sookie confesses to Alcide that she killed Debbie, and he loses his ever-loving mind. Uh-oh! I hope he doesn’t tell! Who are we kidding? We know he loves him some Sookie. Once he calms down, it’ll be all about him protecting her again. Geez, you would think Sookie was a vampire and that she had fed Alcide some of HER blood. At least we know it’s real love and he ain’t after her for a taste of her faerie blood. Anyway, too bad they are in Lousiana, and not in Florida, because apparently you can chase a motherfucker down and shoot them all in the name of “Standing Your Ground” down there. So, she would have, like, been TOTALLY been in the clear. (And, NO, I am not talking about the George Zimmerman case, click the link. )

Rewind: Before any of that confession stuff happens, we hear Tara tossing Lafayette around, and a loud clang.

Arlene: “What in tarnation?”

::Sookie sees Tara exit the walk-in:: “Tara! What in the world are you doing in there, you silly thing?”

Tara: “You got to be shitting me.”

I know, right?

roman, christopher meloni, topless, true blood, episode 3Salome gets her third dick in one night – I mean, ew – this time, from Roman. All he takes off is his top, however, and I am not happy! I WILL see some Christopher Meloni ass before this is all said and done! I DEMAND IT! ::shakes fist:: He did look nice and muscly though. Yummy!

lafayette, witch, true bloodBack at Merlottes, Arlene gets under Lafayette’s skin when she chastises him, in her passive aggressive way, about having his own cousin turned into a vampire. She rattles him so much that his witchdoctor-voodoo self pops out and adds a gallon of bleach to his gumbo. Eek! Thankfully, Lafayette catches himself and dumps the batch. “I’m losing my mind, Hooker!”

By the way, when are they going to tell us what the fuck happened to Jesus?

The episode ends with Tara breaking into a tanning salon and trying to kill herself by lying beneath the UV rays.

Pam senses her: “You stupid bitch.”

Well, that is my review for this week. It’s all kinds of late, but well… I can’t spend ALL of my time doing reviews. Especially not the way that I like to do them.

Please be sure to follow me on the Twitter, @DeAnnaMisrahi, and follow my blog to keep up with all  of my reviews! Ciao!

Love and Hip-Hop, Season 1 Episode 2 Review & Recap

Love and Hip Hop Review – Season 1, Episode 2

To read my episode 3 review, click here.

BEWARE: Profanity below. Be sure to check out my Love and Hip Hop, Week in Drama.

So, “the day following” the dustup at the club with Stevie J and Josheline, Ariane and Mimi are talking about the events that unfolded. Ariane wants to know how Mimi feels. “I am hurt. I am Pissed Off. I am embarrassed. I am disgusted.” (Waits for Momma Dee to pop out and say, “And, in THAT order!” Hood for dayz….) Ariane thinks that Mimi is “addicted to” Stevie, and she is willing to do all she can to break Mimi of that addiction. This is the second episode where she is mentioning Stevie’s dick, and in case you missed it, Stevie released pics of his dick – right along with RhiannaMan releasing pics of herself naked and a video of her rubbing one out. Seriously, watch at your own risk. Mimi is still going on and on about how she and Stevie have a kid together and it disturbs me that she does not realize that she is setting her daughter up to think that it is OK to accept a man treating you like pure doo-doo, all in the name of love. At the end of this segment, she “appears” to be unable answer whether or not she is going to leave Stevie.

This week, we are introduced to Rasheeda. She is a female, underground hip-hop entertainer. She has been married for 12 years to her husband, Kirk, and they have an 11-year-old named Kai, together. Rasheeda has 4 step childrens. That’s a lot! She has been signed to both Motown and Jive record, but they never understood her as an artist, so that shit didn’t work out. She went independent. We see inner cuts of her in some video with Kandi. (Full disclosure: I don’t listen to hip-hop music, nor do I watch videos, so I have not one clue who anyone is on this show.  From what I understand, most of them are not even well known to people who do follow hip-hop, so I guess they haven’t made much of a mark in the industry; or, they simply are no longer relevant.)

Kirk and Rasheeda are at their lovely home, in the kitchen, discussing what song Rasheeda will release first from her upcoming album. Besides being her husband, Kirk is also her manager. He has loads of confidence in his woman and her capabilities, which is awesome. They are debating between two songs, “Legs to the Moon” and “Marry Me.” I have to agree with Rasheeda that “Legs to the Moon” is more intriguing, going by the title alone, but her husband believes that “Marry Me” should be released first; and, since Rasheeda has not made the best decisions about such matters in the past, she probably should listen to her husband this time. So, “Marry Me,” it is.

Karlie Redd decides to pay a visit to Stevie J’s studio to see if he is cool with her ratting him out to his woman. In the real world, ie, not on a “reality” TV show, that would be a done deal. How will it pan out on Love & Hip-Hop? Well, we will have to wait a moment before we find out because the only man at the studio right now is Jose; and, she is wearing another tragic weave. She wants to know why Karlie spilled the beans about how she and Stevie J were behaving at the restaurant. Karlie tries to explain to Shenellica Joseline that if she doesn’t want anyone to know what she and Stevie have going on, she probably should not flaunt it. Joseline continues to deny that she and Stevie J kissed, and since we weren’t shown that footage, we have no clue whether or not Karlie is lying. It’s easy enough for them to have kissed when the cameras stopped rolling. I gotta say though, I like how Joseline goes from admitting that Stevie J was fucking her in episode 1, to demanding people show her proof of them kissing and “sexing” in episode 2. Boy Girl, shut up.

Sidebar: All joking aside, I do believe that Joseline is a female with manly features. The word is “androgynous.” Normally, I would not go in on someone about their looks/features, because that is not something that they can change. She has masculine bone structure but she cannot do anything about that. The problem is that she set herself up as the villainous sidepiece from the start, which means that I just cannot feel much sympathy for her. If she were a good person, people would react differently. Would some people still make fun of her for “looking like a man?” Yes, but she would have more people defending her.  I don’t even hold it against her that she has a stripper/prostituting past.

Anyway, Karlie is explaining to Joseline that she just wants to work with Stevie. Joseline needs Karlie to know that she is Steve’s number 1 priority. (Remember, she plans to make him a brazillian dollars? Seriously, I hardly understand what she is saying half the time, but I can totally see her thinking Brazillian is an actual number.) Karlie is not going to get in her way, but she appreciates Karlie’s old ass giving her advice. How old is Karlie anyway? People keep calling her old.

It’s time for Stevie J to “pop in” on Mimi, while she is out cleaning a home. She owns a cleaning service. (No shade to housekeepers, that’s hard, honest work!) He says that he was, “Looking a little bananas,” at K. Michelle’s party, and his attempts to call Mimi has not worked and he really needs to speak with her. He tells Mimi that his family is the most import thing in his life and that they are his number one priority; behind that dick of his, clearly. “At the end of the day, I love you, but working is how I get my money.” What part of “working” includes being sexually active with your artists? Someone please let me know.

Mimi wants to know what is going on with Stevie and Joseline.

Mimi: “Why would she throw a drink at you?”

Stevie:  “Uh, duh… I don’t know. She probably —- I don’t know!”

Mimi: “I want you to look me in my face and tell me you are not fucking this girl.”

Stevie: (with smile on face) “No, I’m not.”

Mimi: “Why the fuck is you smiling then?”

Stevie: (trying to hide smile on face) “No, I’m not fucking her.”

Mimi: “Have you ever fucked her?”

Stevie: “We ain’t fucking.” You know, like, at this very minute.

Mimi: “I don’t believe you. Why were y’all beefing?”

Stevie: “We were beefing because we were 2 hours late to the studio.”

Man, whatever. I can’t believe that Mimi has put up with this shit, on and off, for 15 years. Stevie wants to “talk serious” for a minute. He wants to cut Mimi in on a “couple” percent of the business. A couple of percent is actually 5% in his world. He wants to give Mimi 5% of the profits from Joseline’s project. What is this fool smoking? Mimi says, fuck that, she wants 10% of everything. She says, “I am ready to hit Stevie in the only place he is going to feel it, in his wallet.” Stevie wants to know what time she’ll be done because he wants to see her. Mimi says that she is going to be tired, maybe he can call tomorrow. Awww, look at her trying to play like she has some kind of back bone!

Question: When did repeating one line repeatedly become a suitable chorus for a song? I’m sorry but, anyone – literally ANYONE – can write lyrics like  these. I find this shit weak and offensive to my sensibilities. Oh, what am I talking about? This “Marry Me” song, which is supposedly a “female anthem,” you know, according to Rasheeda.

“Put it on em, make them want to marry me.” Over and over and over again. I’m sorry, but this shit is just whack.  Maybe they should have gone with “Legs to the Moon” after all.

Anyway, Rasheeda is speaking to her husband about what she expects for her next video. She wants a real director, a full storyboard, more than one camera, etc etc. Kirk says he needs her to be 100% on the video, and not just phone it on, as she sometimes tend to do. She said she gon’ be ready. “You know I am going to deliver because that’s what the fuck I do. When it’s time to be there, and there is time for something to be done, I’m going to be front and center.” Alright then, I guess we’ll see about that.

Erica has not had a real relationship with her mother for about 10 years, but since reconnecting, her mom has been trying to be in her life. They speak for a while about Scrappy, over frozen desserts. She wants to know if Erica is serious about making it work. I never believe Erica when she says that she is, honestly. She does seem like one of those people who hides her emotions behind a thick wall. I recognize it because I tend to be that way as well. Her mom says that she just wants Erica to be happy and that she knows that Scrappy can do more, because she has seen him do more. Erica says that it just seems that way to her mother, from the outside looking in, but things are good. And, even if things don’t work out with Scrappy, all that matters is that her child is happy. They then start to talk about when Erica’s mom was on crack, and sent to prison. Erica was sent to NY to live with her aunt and uncle. She said she would watch letters come to the house, from her mom, but her mom wouldn’t send her letters and she would go to church on Sundays, when she was 8, and just pray to get a letter from her. This part of the episode was truly heart wrenching, and I did feel Erica’s pain in that moment. As scripted as the actual set-ups are, on this show, this conversation was 100% real. For the record, her mom claims she wrote her letters but she thought that Erica was ashamed of her. Erica says that what she’s gone through has just made her stronger.

Mimi and Stevie J go to dinner and Stevie has a “grown and sexy” set up for them. Mimi says that Stevie has been really sweet since the night at the club, but she has a surprise for that ass. She pulls out some paperwork. She is asking for 20% of his profits from all projects. She wants to be partners with him.  In confessional, Mimi is saying that it is less than the 50% she should be getting for putting up with his bullshit over the years.  Stevie J’s counter offer is 10%, and it seems that later on Mimi accepts the 10%, although at the time she acts as if she’s not trying to hear that.  In confessionals, Stevie says, “When Mimi hit me with that paperwork, I was like, ‘Wooooooooow,’” what is he channeling Flavor Flav now? Good God. Anyway, he just says he wants to see her smile again, (have you considered keeping your dick in your pants?) and he plays a song for her at the piano. Mimi just has a shit-eating grin plastered on her face, because she’s eating all of that bullshit up with a spoon.  And Saving Our Daughters think that THIS chick is what teenagers need to look up to? GTFO! Oh, and by the way, Stevie’s voice sucks.

Meanwhile, Kirk is at a studio in Doraville (no, Boots ain’t nowhere around) waiting on Rasheeda to arrive. She shows up two hours late. Basically, Rasheeda is late because she does not have a stylist, and she has a lot on her plate with being a mom and an artist and her own stylist. Kirk fucks her vibe all the way up with his attitude, but truthfully, she’s being a diva. It is easy enough to call or text and let people know you are running late, because when it comes to shooting a video time IS money and having the video run over is going to take more money from their budget. She accuses Kirk of “fiddle-faddling” on the phone while she is doing real work. Well, I imagine that those people didn’t just materialize out of thin air and that Kirk probably had something to do with that, but anyway. After crying for a second outside, she comes back in to do the video to that WHACK ASS SONG, “Marry Me.”

Mimi goes to Karlie’s house so that they can catch up. Karlie apologies and says that if she had known that Mimi and Stevie J were together, she would not have said anything. Who believes that shit? Mimi says that there is no need to apologize if she didn’t know. Karlie goes on to rub salt in Mimi’s wounds by talking about the chemistry she witnessed between Joseline and Stevie. She says that it was clear to her that they were fucking. “Why you calling your manager, Daddy? I would never call my manager Daddy.” I want to know why ANY women calls the man they are fucking Daddy, PERIOD. Seriously, is this something women who don’t have, and have never had, fathers in their lives do?

Mimi: “Do you honestly think they are sleeping with each other?”

Ugh, I just can’t handle this simple broad.

Now that that is out of the way, Karlie needs to let Mimi know that she really wants to work with Stevie. You gotta love that bitch. (I mean that in the most sarcastic way possible.) She tells Mimi that Joseline is making it seem as if she is the boss and she’s running shit. Mimi says that’s not the case because Joseline works for both she and Stevie J. She tells Karlie about that 10% she has accepted from Stevie. She says, “He and I are going to partner up.” I can’t tell if she is just talking shit, or if she and Stevie have actually signed some papers. It almost came across as if she was saving face.

Stevie and Joseline are back in the studio.

Joseline (in confessional): “I have so musch love for Stevie! I owe him so musch and he will get rewarded for that. I love Stevie. Everyone else, I don’t give a fuck about!”

Joseline (in studio): “I have something else I need to talk to you about.” Camera zooms in on her face. “No fairy godmother this month.”

Stevie: “Huh?”

Joseline: “I don’t know if it’s my nerves but I have to go to the doctor to make sure nothing is going on with me.”

Stevie:  “How late is you?”

Josaline: “Almost a month. Three weeks.”

(Pause): That make-up job is TRAGIC.

Stevie: “Is it 3 weeks or a month?” (Yea bitch, get it right! This is important!)

Joseline: “Three weeks is almost a month.”

Stevie ain’t trying to hear it. “What else is good with you? We shouldn’t even be having this conversation, period.” If she was having periods, you wouldn’t be having this conversation! hahaha!

Anyway, is he serious? It doesn’t matter, because Mimi rolls in to lay down the law. She lets Joseline know that she is now Stevie’s business party and that Joseline works for her. Joseline tells Mimi that she is not running shit. Mimi asks Stevie what his feelings were on working with Karlie Redd. Stevie says that Karlie is a rat, and that he wasn’t feeling it. Joseline tries to pipe up and give her opinion, and Mimi shuts that shit down. She said it is not Joseline’s decision. In the end, Stevie sides with Mimi and agrees it’s about getting paid, at the end of the day. So, suck on that Joseline… Never mind, you might like it.

At Erica’s house, Scrappy drops in. They get past a little small talk and the discussion moves on to how Scrappy gets when he is stressed out and how he wears his emotion on his sleeves. He says when he is going through stuff, he just wants to be left alone, so this means he needs his own spot, where Erica can’t give him an attitude and ask him about where he is going. (How dare she?!) Scrappy says that he would tell her if he didn’t really want to work on their relationship. Erica says, truthfully, she and Scrappy work best apart. Whatever. At this point, it’s clear that neither of them are serious about a relationship and that they are doing this for the show. Do what you gotta do.

“You need to mind your business Karlie Redd. It’s time for me to give this bitch a reality check.” That’s what Joseline has to say about Karlie; and she means it. She “tracks Karlie down” at a gym, much in the same way Stevie tracked down Mimi earlier in the episode – meaning the producers set up the altercation. Joseline “asks” Karlie to please stop going behind her back asking to work with Stevie and to not talk to Mimi about her. Karlie thinks that both Joseline and Mimi are jokes at this point. One minute, one is telling her that she’s running shit, the next the other is saying that she runs it. She says she needs to know who Stevie J’s manager is. Karlie then proceeds to act as if she isn’t the one volunteering information to Mimi about what she has observed between Joseline and Stevie, saying that it is Mimi who is talking about Joseline, not her.  Joseline says that Karlie will work with Stevie J if she allows him to work with her. When will side-hos learn? You have no real power. It’s up to the man, who is using you like a cum receptacle, to make you feel as if you have power. THAT’S IT!

At the end of the episode, Joseline gets another dramatic “video ho entrance” when she arrives at the studio. She goes right into the bathroom, with the cameras, squats over the toilet and pisses on the pregnancy test. If she wasn’t a ho, this would be shocking. But, since she is, it isn’t. Of course, I doubt that she even actually pissed on it. It was one of those classic, TV scenes with people passing around a pissy pregnancy test as if it wasn’t just pissed on. I mean she has it all up in her purse. Who does that?

She brings Stevie the pregnancy test and he wants to know why she is bringing it to him. Because she’s picking you to be that baby daddy, dummy. When she walks into the studio, she is all “upset” and crying. Stevie wants to know why she’s upset. She tells him and he is like, “So, whatcha gon do?” Actually, that’s how Chris Rock asked it in his, “Never Scared” comedy routine. Stevie J wasn’t nearly as humorous, in fact, he was a complete dick about it. He starts talking about how she has photo shoots coming up, and all of this choreography she is going to need to be doing – basically, he’s pointing out that she can’t be pregnant and do that. It’s clear that his solution is to have her abort the baby. Eventually, he presses her on who the dad is, and she finally says that, over the last six months, the only guy she has been fucking is him.

Next week should be interesting! Sorry for any typos, I will proofread and fix it (again) tomorrow.

Remember to follow me on Twitter, @DeAnnaMisrahi, and follow my blog. Peace.

This Week in Drama: Love and Hip-Hop Atlanta, Pre-Review (plus) MeMpHiTz Radio Interview

With all of the drama over the past week, I just felt this need to do a “pre-review” ahead of tonight’s show. In the aftermath of the season 1 premiere of Love and Hip-Hop: Atlanta, sex tapes, nude photos and a wave of “ratchetness” was unleashed via the Twitter and a boatload of gossip sites. It was the quintessential definition of a hot ass mess; which happens to be 100% representative of the show itself. (And, yes, I am still watching!) 

The day following the premiere, alone, we had K. Michelle and Karlie Redd tweefing; K. Michelle and MissJia tweefing; Joseline desperately scrambling to prove that she is, in fact, 100% female; and Mimi Faust volunteering to empower young girls via Saving Our Daughters. I mean, really?

This is Saving Our Daughter’s mission:

Saving Our Daughters creates the tools to get teen girls discussing key issues and fired up to take the power away from bullying, (cyber, gossip, face-to-face,…), date abuse, hate crimes, school violence, violence against women, and other esteem slayers.

There is not one woman on this show that I would have a young girl look up to. (ETA: I may change my mind about that after seeing Rasheeda’s introduction tonight, and Ariane seems OK so far – though she is not a main cast member.) Sure, Mimi is a great example of what NOT to do, but before she can go mentoring young women on self respect/esteem and valuing themselves, she needs to live that life. Since she has no recent history of living that life, she is not an appropriate role model. That is like someone saying, “You know who would be the best person to get someone off of crack? A current crackhead.”  NO! You don’t get a current crackhead, you get a recovered crackhead. You get someone who has lived a crack-free life for a considerable amount of time so that people can see that it is possible to get clean and live a productive life. Mimi can’t mentor young women about a damn thing because she herself is still one of those people suffering from “esteem slayers.” That goes to show that we have absolutely no clue of how to select our “heroes” these days. Just having a little fame is enough. I am rooting for Mimi to get her shit together, but she ain’t there yet and I would hate for some teenage girl to think that it is OK to hang around and let a man drag you through the mud for 15 years.

As far as Joseline, I am not even going to post links to all of that disgusting mess that came out about her over the last joseline, love and hip hop, vh1week. The video, where she is pulling an OctoMom and pleasuring herself, about made me vomit. I am just going to say that it is quite clear that that pussy has seen its fair share of dicks in its day and leave it at that. It’s also clear that she was born a woman. If you do want to see it, it’s just a Google search away. Enter at your own risk, and don’t watch on a full stomach.

This week the drama continued. Today, MempHitz went on Atlanta’s V103 to answer K. Michelle’s claims of abuse. I guess he could not remain quiet about it forever, not with his name being dragged through the mud. Besides, Toya encouraged him to speak out about it. The start of the interview, with V103’s Egypt, is light enough. He talks about how he and Toya went to Paris for their 1st year anniversary and about the reality show he is looking to pitch, anywhere but BET. He used to be VP of A & R at Jive Records, but now he has his own company, Do Work Enterprises, and he’s breaking into the “kid world.” With that out of the way, he just wants to clear his name and let the world know who he is. Whatever people think afterward, is up to them. He just doesn’t want to be slandered so that someone else can prosper. That someone else, of course, being K. Michelle.

First, he explains how he met K. Michelle. He was speaking to someone in the hallway (I presume at Jive Records), and he turned around to see K. Michelle there. He thought she was very pretty and was taken aback by that. She noticed that he was wearing a chain with his area code on it, and she wanted to know why he was wearing it. Once she realized who he was, she insisted on singing for him – and, of course, he was blown away. He goes into some more of his background at Jive records; he had a recording deal, was VP, and was handling three or four artists. Being a young CEO, he thought he could blow them all up at once, and blah blah blah, stop filibustering. Eventually, Egypt stops him and asked if he and K. Michelle had a volatile relationship. He says the relationship was “cool” and goes into how their relationship was not even supposed to happen, that they dated for 6 months and that he was going around introducing her as his “little sister.” She asked him why he was introducing her as his sister.

Egypt stops him and asks again, “Was the relationship Volatile?”

MeMpHitz: “Volatile, as in violent?”

Egypt: “Yes”

MeMpHItz: “No!”

He says that he has held women from swinging to hit him, even in high school. (Sounds like has been in volatile relationships, but he is claiming it’s he who gets abused.) He says he has never hit a girl in his life, and he can’t even spank his daughter.

Egypt: “Did K. Michelle put her hands on you?”

MeMpHitz: “Yes.”

MeMpHitz: “I love girls a little too much. Even in times when girls hit me the only thing I’ve ever done was hold those arms down.”

He reveals a time that he had to call the cops on K. Michelle for trespassing. It was back when he and Toya first started their relationship and she was in his room, asleep. K. Michelle left before the cops got there.

MeMpHitz: “If you can find one other woman in the world that can say that I have ever put my hands on her, I’ll confess to everything.” (Does that even make sense?)

Egypt: “Why would she come out and say this?”

MeMpHitz: “I don’t know how the devil moves, I just know he moves in ways that humans will never understand. All praises to Jehovah.”

MeMpHitz reveals that there was a time that K. Michelle was in a abusive relationship. He said that she would tell him stories about how some guy used to, “fight her like a man” and that she was raped. He calls her “damaged” and said he fell into a relationship that she insisted upon being in. He said that she would embarrass him in meetings with important people with her screaming. He wishes K. Michelle all the blessings in the world, and hopes that she sells a million records, just don’t slander him to do it.

That was the gist of the interview. I quoted them the best that I could, real time, with no time to pause. I do type over 100 wpm, but still, it was tough! Anyway, what I took from this interview is that both he and K. Michelle sound convincing, so it’s difficult to tell which of the two is lying. One red flag, for me, is that MeMpHitz admits to being in violent relationships, but he makes himself the victim of the violence. Another is that he is making it seem as if K. Michelle strong-armed him into being in the relationship. He also seems to believe K. Michelle’s claims of abuse, when she told him about her past. If she would lie about you abusing her, why do you still believe that she was abused at some point? Maybe she is just a sociopath who has discovered a way to get people to feel sorry for her? And the ultimate question is – Why, if she is lying, are you not suing her for libel?

Here is a legal definition of libel:

Libel  1) n. to publish in print (including pictures), writing or broadcast through radio, television or film, an untruth about another which will do harm to that person or his/her reputation, by tending to bring the target into ridicule, hatred, scorn or contempt of others. Libel is the written or broadcast form of defamation, distinguished from slander which is oral defamation. It is a tort (civil wrong) making the person or entity (like a newspaper, magazine or political organization) open to a lawsuit for damages by the person who can prove the statement about him/her was a lie. Publication need only be to one person, but it must be a statement which claims to be fact, and is not clearly identified as an opinion. While it is sometimes said that the person making the libelous statement must have been intentional and malicious, actually it need only be obvious that the statement would do harm and is untrue. Proof of malice, however, does allow a party defamed to sue for “general damages” for damage to reputation, while an inadvertent libel limits the damages to actual harm (such as loss of business) called “special damages.” “Libel per se” involves statements so vicious that malice is assumed and does not require a proof of intent to get an award of general damages. (Continue reading.)

If I am a man, who is being accused of beating the piss out of a woman, AND I DIDN’T DO IT, I am suing on principle. Oh, that ho is going to court! Maybe he doesn’t want the legal fees. Maybe he doesn’t feel that it is worth it because you can’t prove a negative. I don’t know. In the end, I don’t think we will ever have some definitive answer on this one.

At the end of the interview, MeMpHiTz mentioned a recording that he wanted to play for us. He said it wasn’t his voice, or any other man, but they never played it. He said he wanted to let us hear it, and if people still did not believe him, there is nothing he can do about it. Egypt pretended as if he didn’t say any of that, and just thanked him for the interview. I imagine that they didn’t have time to see what the recording was, or how he got it, so they didn’t want to get into trouble by playing it. I hope he releases it at some point!

Well, that’s it for my pre-review. I will be back with my review for tonight’s episode later.

You mean THAT @$!%! killed Rosie??? The Killing Season 2 Finale Recap – Spoilers Within

who cares, who killed rosie larsen

I am not going to do a full review of The Killing, because as I stated before, I am pretty much over the entire franchise. If there is a season 3, perhaps I will watch, I don’t know. I’m a little torn because part of me feel that perhaps they have learned their lesson from what they did wrong in the first two seasons and, based upon that, they will be able to make changes. Another part of me feels as if I will never care about Holden(Holder/Linden) and it’s hard for me to follow a story about characters that I just don’t give a flip about. Perhaps I will just wait until season 3 wraps and watch it on Netflix. Who knows? I don’t actually plan that far into the future – ever, so why start now?

Anyway, this weeks episode starts off with us getting a glimpse into Rosie’s final day. We get a look at how happy the family was, on the surface. They also give us this sense of “nostalgia” in her knowing that she will be running away from home. Throughout the episode, we get inner cuts of what actually happened the day she died.

At the home of Jamie and Ted Wright, Darren Richmond is trying to figure out why Jamie has been lying to him, and Jamie’s grandfather is all too happy to put into Darren’s head that Jamie wasn’t really home the night of Rosie’s death. Jamie wheels Richmond away while unsuccessfully shushing his grandfather. He takes Darren back to campaign headquarters, when they really were due at the rally where Richmond would celebrate his victory. Yes, Richmond was elected mayor. Meanwhile, Holden and Gwen are frantically looking for both Richmond and Jamie, and they start to put things together more quickly than they have put together any two clues at any point in the 25 episodes that have aired previously. They figure out that Richmond is in trouble; because Jamie is dangerous.

Long story short, Holden + Gwen track the duo to campaign headquarters where Eric Ladin (Jamie) is trying his best to come across as psycho as he holds Darren at gunpoint. Perhaps I am projecting, but I can almost see him thinking, “I can’t believe this is how this story is playing out,” beneath the surface. But, I digress. During this time, we find out how Rosie was discovered at the Indian casino; holding a camera. For some reason she completely overreacts and starts screaming, at which point Jamie had to subdue her by grabbing her up and, “accidentally,” smashing her head against the ground.

This is why I say she overreacts – I guess that if a group of adults are meeting at the construction site of a hotel casino, in the middle of the night, it stands to reason that they are doing it not to be seen, but I almost felt as if she witnessed something much more traumatizing; like, a murder, perhaps? Also, she’s 16! She doesn’t know who the hell any of those people were or why they were there. For all she knew, they were talking about something to do with the construction site.It just felt like she went from, “I swear I didn’t see anything,” to bloodcurdling screams. I don’t know. I mean, I get the gist of what they were going for, but I just don’t think it played out well.  Eh, whatever. Ultimately, Holder has to put Jamie down to save them all.

The show then continues down the path of tying up loose ends here and there. I liked the part where Lt. Carlson congratulates Holden on a job well done – considering he did as little as humanly possible to help them and actually kicked them off the case and committed Linden to a mental hospital, I found that amusing. I still don’t know how they remained ON the case, but who cares at this point?

The Larsen family is working to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives, deciding to move into another home. Mitch never really has to answer for abandoning the family, imo. She pretty much was allowed to go away, cheat on her husband, and come back home with no consequences. Does that happen in real life?

The… uh, climax? of the finale occurs when Holden goes to inform the Larsens that they got Rosie’s killer. The Larsens aren’t home, however, only Aunt Terry. Holden tells her that they got the killer and they wanted to wait for the Larsens to return before they shared with her who it was. Terry says she has to go upstairs to finish packing, or something, but you can sense that she was about to have some kind of emotional breakdown. Then we see the broken tail light and, again, Holden (mostly Linden) puts together 2 and 2 at lightening speed and realize that Terry was actually there the night Rosie died. They go upstairs and find Terry in Rosie’s room, which is in the process of being packed up. They then show us what actually led to Rosie’s death.

Sidebar: Before I continue, here is the “conspiracy” – Jamie made a deal with Nicole and Ames to bury Indian bones on land they wanted to develop. In exchange for hefty donations, and the support of Nicole’s Indians (yea, she pretty much owns them like property at this point), Jamie was going to get Richmond to vote in favor of… something that would make Nicole happy. That’s why they had to meet under the cloak of darkness on the 10th floor of an Indian casino; to hash out those details. Yea, I’m fuzzy on the details, but really, I didn’t have the interest in  paying close attention.

The night Rosie was caught and thrown into the trunk of the Richmond campaign car, Terry and Ames was preparing to go to… Vegas, I believe. Jamie calls before that happens and they meet up at the lake that Rosie drowned in. Jamie and Ames begin arguing about what to do about Rosie. Jamie starts to say things that Terry likes, and was desperate to hear, specifically, “You can finally leave your wife and be with Terry.” Well, that’ all Terry has hear do to get herself into motion. She gets out of her car and walks over to the campaign car,  opens the door, puts the car into drive, and watches it as it rolls into the water. We can hear the girl screams from the trunk. Done. “See?? I solved the problem for both of yous.”

“I didn’t know it was Rosie!” Terry wails. Well, you knew it was SOMEBODY’S Rosie; and the irony is that it was YOUR Rosie, you self-serving bitch. Sorry. That was me trying to give a fuck. Literally, in that moment, I felt me forcing myself to have some kind of “emotion” about the revelation that Terry killed her own niece. “You mean… the ENTIRE time, when you were playing the ‘good aunt,’ and sister, and sister in law, (I MEAN YOU EVEN KISSED YOUR SISTER’S HUSBAND) you knew what had happened to Rosie?!?!!??? Because, YOU did it?!?! OVER SOME DICK PENIS? You are a crappy woman, missus!” But, in the end, after two years and 26 episodes, I just didn’t really care who killed Rosie Larsen. I would have cared at the end of season 1. I would have cared if I liked and/or empathized with the characters during season 2. But, I don’t care now and there is nothing I can do about it.

Bring on Breaking Bad!

To read an absolutely HILARIOUS take on The Killing’s Season finale, check out Jacob Clifton’s recap at Television Without Pity.

Thanks for reading. If you like what see, please follow my blog and share it with your friends and family and even people you might not even like!

Series Premiere – Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, Season 1 Episode 1: The ‘A’ List Review

BEWARE: Profanity below! Check out my review for Episode 2 of Love and Hip-Hop Atlanta.

First of all, I gotta say that the opening for this reality show has got to be the most dramatic I’ve ever seen. This should already tell us what we have in store for us for this season! I am from Atlanta, so it will be very interesting to see how my city plays out from this angle. We already have the Real Housewives of Atlanta, but Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta plays to a younger demographic.

Here is the cast (L-R): K Michelle, Karlie Redd, Rasheeda, Mimi Faust, Joseline, & Erica Dixon

We start out the series premiere with Mimi and her man, Stevie J. They have been together fifteen years, which means that she has likely been cheated on hundreds of times and probably has had to make a few trips to the clinic along the way. Is that mean? Anyway, they have a 2-year-old daughter named Eva and Mimi is just ready for Stevie to man up. So, Stevie has Mimi driving them way outside of Atlanta, to the suburbs where he has a surprise waiting for her. When they reach their destination, we see that it is a house, which is a gift to her. I’m a little confused though, are they moving into that house, together, or is he just giving it to her? Is he kicking her out of the place they currently live? At any rate, when people start giving you gifts as big as an entire house, you pretty much know that they done fucked up.

Mimi is not really feeling him moving her all the way out into the suburbs. From where it looks like they are, it is a good 30-45 minutes outside of Atlanta. Stevie is all like, “Look hoe, you better take this house and be glad I’m not tossing you into some glorified  apartment. You know how many bitches wish I was buying them a house right now? You ungrateful cunt!” Okay, he didn’t say any of that. That was just me reading in between the lines. He did make it clear that he still is not going to be around “like that” because he gotta get his money.

Next up is Erica. She’s a single mother and she has been dating the rapper Lil Scrappy on and off for about 10 years. They have a 6-year-old daughter named Imani. Lil Scrappy pops up on screen for 2 seconds to ignorantly proclaim some stuff about his affinity for the city of Atlanta, where he was born, and, apparently, will die. After his career took off, Lil Scrappy had a public affair with an Atlanta rapper named Diamond and it hurted Erica’s feelings.  Diamond dumped Lil Scrappy to get with something bigger and better (OK, I don’t know if he is better) Soulja Boy, and Scrappy went crawling back to Erica with his tail between his legs. And, of course, she took him back. She clearly has a high sense of self-worth. Lil Scrimpy takes a pause to think when Erica asks him if he thinks he would be with her if Diamond hadn’t cheated on him. He comes up with a response that wouldn’t get him cut, and kept it moving. He tells her that she needs to give him more affection. You cheated on her, just how affectionate should she be?

It’s time to meet the singer on the show, K. Michelle. She is in the studio shouting into the microphone – shouting is not singing; someone needs to tell these young singers that. She is a single mother, a pianist and she rocks out with her cock out. She recently got out of a bad relationship and that’s what this album is about. She’s recording a break-up song, and once she gets into the groove, she does sound considerably better. Later in the show, she meets with Rasheeda to express her displeasure with her ex-record label and to tell her about the bad relationship she ended up in with the man who signed her to the record deal. She said he gave her everything she thought she wanted until one day he flipped and beat her ass. He even stole the money that was reserved for her recording budget ($2 Million!)to buy himself flashy jewelry, and in the end, she had nothing to show for it; not even the album. Even though other people knew what was going on, they did nothing to help her. The nature of the beast. (I presume that she cannot mention this man’s name on the show, based upon how cryptic she was in that regard. Allegedly, the man in question is Memphitz. Memphitz is currently married to Toya. If he really is as violent as K Michelle claims, I hope Toya don’t ever feel that wrath.)

Mimi goes to visit her friend, Ariane, (somebody should have told her mother that does not spell “Erin”) to whine about about Stevie J giving her a big ass house in the suburbs. Ungrateful! I mean, so what if it is out in the boonies and it will be harder for you to roll up to the studio to see what skank he fucking? It’s a new house! Anyway, she and Ariane have known each other for about 7 or 8 years and she knows all of the ups and downs, ins and outs, of Mimi’s relationship with her man. Ariane reads the situation pretty quickly and is all like, “Is the dick THAT good?” OK, now we all know good well that what keeps her in the relationship is the money and status. These women kill me trying to act as if that has nothing to do with it and that they aren’t at least part golddigger. OWN WHO YOU ARE. Mimi says that she has never met a dick that made her do cartwheels – but she has met a paycheck! Ariane pretty much tells her that she accepts the behavior by staying with him. I concur! Side Note: Evelyn needs to take notes on how to cry on cue from these chicks. They make real tears and everything.

Looking like a po’ man’s Rihanna

Next, we travel to Kirkwood, which is in east Atlanta, to meet the show’s Latina flavor, Joseline (real name Shenellica, scroll down to see her mugshot). She gets a video ho vixen entrance before we see her little clip stating that she is a rapper, actress, and dancer. We got a triple threat y’all! She does have a nice ass (is it real?), but that weave is TRAGIC. So, she’s at Stevie J’s Studio, Block Studios. The first thing she does is show off her ass and he gives it a nice smack. Turns out, they’re fucking. Now, we already knew they were fucking, but I didn’t expect them to make it so obvious. I thought it would be one of those coy, “He’s just my producer/manager/everything, but we ain’t fucking,” kind of things. Nope. She puts that shit right on the table. I think I might actually respect that. Wait; scratch that. Did this bitch just say that Stevie fucks her brain? Yea… I take that respect thing back. She says that she wants Stevie forever. Good luck with that one.

Momma Dee

Lil Scrappy heads over to his mother’s house, Momma Dee. My impression one sentence into Momma Dee’s introduction:  She doesn’t seem quite as ghetto fabulous as say… a Frankie or Nancy. I mean, it looks like she would be able to spell psychotic if she had to. ::sighs:: I guess I should have waited to hear her speak before I placed her above Frankie and Nancy. Once she begins to express her displeasure about the people working on her home, it becomes clear that she is a lot more hood than she portrays herself in the “confessional.” At least she knows how to act as if she has some home training when she has to…  Although, that gives me shades of Tami Roman. Tami knows how to act cool, calm and collected when she wants people to think she has sense, but eventually, the truth betrays her and we see exactly who she really is. Wait, how did I get back to Basketball Wives?

Anyway, Momma Dee used to pimp and sell crack back in the day. She did what she had to, to take care of her family. Even if what she did hurt the community she was raising them in even more. Yup, that makes sense! Momma Dee gives her son some advice on his relationship with Erica. She says that Erica doesn’t know how to show affection because she didn’t have a mother to show it to her while she was growing up; because her mother was a crackhead. Mmm…. I wonder if she bought her crack from Momma Dee? Lil Scrimpy ignorantly proclaims – I mean, dude is stupid – that affection has nothing to do with your mama. What? They move on to talking about Diamond and Momma Dee is determined not to let her son beat her out in the ignorance department and states that Diamond didn’t need a record deal, she needed a Massengill deal; because, apparently, she knows what her pussy smells like – and it stinks! She says that Diamond almost made her come out of early retirement and that she needed to put her on the track to sell that ass; since her son paid for it. All of this because Diamond did to her son, what her son did to Erica. What goes around comes around; if you are so wise, where is THAT wisdom, Momma Dee?

Momma Dee has Erica over to her house to have a heart to heart sit down, and to tell her all of the things she is doing wrong in her relationship with her son. “You gotta show him affection, hoe!” Erica says that she does show him affection. I’m sorry, if someone publicly humiliates me by cheating with another woman, I’m not going to be feeling all lovey, dovey with them. How is that even a reasonable expectation? I guess she is supposed to fake it for his sake, so that HE will feel better; what about her? Erica tells Momma Dee that she steps out of line as a mother, and Momma Dee tells her she doesn’t know what she is talking about because her mom was a crackhead. Erica said that she still had a mother figure in her life, she was raised by her aunt. Momma Dee says that Erica’s mother did crack in front of Erica, and that she would never do that. Yes, Momma Dee, the pimp and drug dealer is a much more superior mother than Erica’s. People like her is why Erica’s mom was able to get her hands on crack in the first place. People can’t smoke what they can’t get. HELLO? For the record, Erica denies that her mother ever smoked crack in front of her. Momma Dee goes on to have some “vision” about Diamond and Lil Scrimpy and some other stuff that I can’t follow. The bitch is crazy, and Erica confirms it when she gets Momma Dee to confirm that she has been off her meds for five days. That explains everything.

So, Mimi’s slow ass invites her man to dinner to discuss whether or not he is interested in living in their home, out in the sticks, together. Stevie says he’ll come home “more.” Bitch, please. Let me tell you from experience, the only way that man is going to be coming home from that studio is if he needs you to take care of him in some way. I mean, it has to be something major. A serious illness, perhaps. Otherwise, you are doing good to get him once a week.  Mimi lays on him this super duper awesome idea – “How about you build a studio in the house?” Stevie J was ready for that one, though! He was quick to outline why it isn’t such a great idea, stating that you get a different “vibe” when you are at the studio, and being there stokes his creative fire. Besides, how is he going to have Joseline around giving him head lap dances and such if he is working from home? Naw, that one ain’t going to work. We need to keep this here separate. “So, that means what?” Mimi wants to know. Seriously? Like I said… Sloooooooow.

So, Stevie really isn’t all that great at this double life stuff. He invites Joseline to meet with an industry dude – Antonio Reid, LA Reid’s son; and, Karlie Redd, a singer and rapper from Trinidad. She has been wanting to work with Stevie J for a while. He wants to know if she is going for that Trini-sound. She says, no… she is going for that “R & B Swag,” whatever that is. Seriously, you should be able to define yourself just a little bit better than that. I do respect that she can just perform on the spot and is not shy about it. Joseline takes to Karlie immediately and suggests, after they show off their hot-bods, that they do a song together.

K Michlle Birthday Party, Love and Hip Hop AtlantaWe know that with these “reality” shows, we always have to have at least one episode – usually the premiere – where someone has some kind of party where things pop off. Well, Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta is no different. The ladies get together for K. Michelle’s birthday party and K. Michelle is ready for them to dance off beat. OK, that off beat dance of hers was cute… those shoes with the blonde hair weave on them? Not so much. She looks great otherwise.

Karlie is thrilled, and shocked, to see Mimi when she walks in. They were close back when they both lived in LA, but lost touch over the years. Question: How is it that she didn’t know that Stevie J was Mimi’s man? I mean, fifteen years is a long time for Karlie NOT to know who her good friend was fucking.  I guess the above is why it doesn’t come across quite so genuine when Karlie, out of the blue, starts to talk about Joseline and how real she is and how she is “ride or die” for her man. “Her man is Stevie J,” she says. Of course, Mimi and Ariane jump in to say that he is not Joseline’s man because he’s Mimi’s man! Karlie tries hard to pull off that, “Oh shit!” look, but she doesn’t do it that well. She keeps insisting over and over again that Stevie J is Josaline’s man because she “seen” it with her own two eyes. So, of course Stevie rolls into the club with Josaline as they are discussing the issue and this whole thing is looking more and more contrived by the second. K. Michelle plays Kesha for a moment, and got ghost, with a couple of the other girls, when the duo arrives at her table. I mean, K Michelle just got her hair done and she is not looking to get any drinks thrown onto it. What I need to know is why Stevie asks Mimi to go over and talk to Josaline? I guess he thinks she is going to be able to squelch Mimi’s fear that the two of them are fucking. Mimi tells Joseline that she has been going through so much with Stevie, as if Joseline gives a fuck.

Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, Josaline Mimi Confrontation

While I feel that Karlie was intentionally being messy, she is at least going up to Mimi and asking her if she needs to make a choice between her, and working with Stevie in the studio. Mimi says that she would never put her in that position. Ariane wants to know what led Karlie to believe that Joseline and Stevie were “together.” Side Note: Anyone else think that Joseline sounds… “slow,” when she speaks? Anyway, she threatens Karlie, stating that she is being asked questions that will “fuck her up” in the end. In response to that, Karlie goes on to call Joseline and Stevie J all the way out, letting Mimi know how they were acting at lunch and that she did see them kissing. So, I guess Karlie has decided that she won’t be working with Stevie, after all. He calls her a rat, in confessional, but I would call that being a good friend. I STILL don’t know how she didn’t know her so-called friend was in a relationship with Stevie J. But, this is “reality” TV, which means it’s the exact opposite of that. Mimi doesn’t want to hear his lame, weak denials, and Stevie and Joseline accuse Karlie of getting a kick out of the mess SHE started. Really? I think the mess started when y’all started fucking. Just a hunch!

Ariane tries to save her friend, but Mimi just sits there as if she doesn’t know how to get up. Eventually, she figures it out and they exit stage left. Stevie J jumps over the couch to chase after Mimi, and Joseline throws a drink at him to single him back and let him know that she is not happy. Like the mindless, “I think with my dick,” puppy that he is. He runs back to Joseline and escorts her out the club. He then decides he must not be looking like much of a man, so he throws a drink back at Joseline once they are outside, messing up her “forur” wrap. Someone needs to tell her that “fur” only has one syllable.Stevie J, Love and Hip Hop Atlanta

Joseline goes to sit in the car and Mimi is standing by as Stevie follows behind, getting into the backseat with Josaline. Mimi is all like, “Really?” Yes, bitch, REALLY! She stalks up to the car and throws the door open and Stevie was like, “It wasn’t me!” “I was looking for you!” Joseline just wishes that Mimi would go home and “deal with her emotion” so that she and Stevie can go to the studio, where she is going to make him a billion dollars. I guess in her language “making a billion dollars” means “choking on ones dick.” In the end, after unsuccessfully convincing Mimi to go with both he and Joseline (huh?), Stevie decides to ride off with Joseline, and that’s where the show ends.

Based on the previews, this season is going to be a hot ass, drama-filled, mess; and I can’t wait!

Thanks for reading my review! If you would like to see the full episode before the premiere on Monday, Miss Jia has it up.  Check it out on her site!

If you like what you see, be sure to follow my blog to keep up with all of my recaps, and share it with your friends!

Peace.

Update:

Did, I say my name was Joseline, Daddy? I meant Shenellica!

The Killing Recap: The Difference Between Wright and Wrong

To read my “The Killing” Season 2 finale recap, and to find out who killed Rosie, click here.

I have been wanting to do a recap for The Killing for the last two episodes (I’ve only had this blog that long) and I just have not had the energy. This show just drains me in a way no source of entertainment should EVER drain you; especially if one is sitting on their ass the entire time. I mean, I thought recapping Game of Thrones would be scary, what with all of those characters and intricate storylines to follow, but even that feels like a walk in the park compared to trying to recap The Killing. Thankfully Starlee Kline over at Vulture.com sums it up for me in ways that I just don’t think  I could ever do; even if I had the energy to tackle it.

Season 1 of The Killing was superb – until we got to the end and realize we would have to wait over a year to figure out who killed Rosie. OK, fine, that’s a little disappointing but I think that I am somewhat patient, and if the show continued to be delivered in an interesting way, I can wait it out. Problem – the show ceased to be delivered in an interesting way. Instead it turned into Red Herring Central, and inevitably, anyone who looked like a suspect never really was one. Also, I hate every character on the show. I somewhat tolerate Holder, but he looks like a wet rat half of the time and he’s sort of a taller, lankier version of Breaking Bad‘s Slim Shady. If they would have at least made some of the characters likeable AND people that we could relate to, if they would have made them into people who we actually gave two shits about, I could have stomached it more. I feel an immense amount of empathy and sorrow for the neglected children on the show – Jack, Tod, and Rod. Rod… I’m kind of scared of him. I mean, in some alternate universe, where The Killing would actually survive for five+ seasons, I could see the final season being about capturing Rod the Serial killer. Even considering that, I feel bad for him, too.  But that is just flat out depressing. I get no entertainment out of it. Linden, the main protagonist, should be someone that people root for, but you can’t root for someone who neglects their child and is damn near oblivious to the fact that she does it. And, even this past episode she is blaming someone else for her having to send Jack to live with her father – whom she kept him from for years. I.Don’t.Like.Her!

Honestly, I fell asleep on The Killing Sunday night. I decided I needed a nap before watching Mad Men and True Blood (read my True Blood recap here!) and that I would just read Starlee Kline’s recap the next day. At this point, The Killing is literally That Show I’m Watching to See Who Dunnit. I have zero desire to see a season 3.

What that said, I present to you… Starlee Kline’s Review:

So remember that time in the magic hospital room when Jamie brought up his grandfather/father/uncle Ted Wright and we thought it was just a lame parable that he pulled out of thin air in order to get Richmond out of bed? And then remember how when Richmond brought up Ted Wright again, during his fake CNN-type interview, we thought, That’s weird. I guess the writers couldn’t come up with another sentence for him to say. When he brought him up again in last week’s episode, during the most important speech of his career, right before he dropped the mike onto the floor in an unintended moment of hilarity, we were so numb to the lazy maneuverings thrown to us by This Show that we didn’t even bother to formulate a rant against it in our minds.” Surely, though, that would be the last time we would hear about him, not that it was this close to the end. Out of all the dropped story lines there was no way that would be the one the show would bother returning to, especially since it wasn’t really a story line at all.

Right?

I’ll return back to that question at the end of this recap. À la Veena Sud.

We begin with Linden and Holder watching the news of Richmond’s announcement on the television in his office. The news camera helpfully lingers on Jamie and Gwen as Linden and Holder identify them as their new prime suspects, throwing me into a momentary spiral of uncertainty as I contemplate whether this makes the cameraman good or bad at his job. Suddenly they’re surrounded by cops but Linden has a plan. She’s going to use the doctored Richmond photo as leverage against Mayor Adams. It’s a solid enough strategy, which is why it’s confusing that she has only now thought to use it. It feels very similar to last week when she and Holder were like, “We need to get back into that casino. I guess maybe we could get a search warrant?” and then they just DID, making the whole Holder-gets-beat-to-a-bloody-pulp-while-Linden-gets-committed-to-an-insane-asylum plotline feel even sillier than it already had.

Continue Reading: The Killing Recap: The Difference Between Wright and Wrong.

My Favorite Basketball Wives Season 4, Reunion Reviews

Here is a collection of my favorite Basketball Wives, Season 4 Reviews from YouTube. If you like what you see, be sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE to these up and coming youtubers and be sure to let them know that @DeAnnaMisrahi sent ya!

Be forewarned, there is a fair amount of profanity in the videos below, so keep that in mind BEFORE watching.

My favorite part of the video below starts at 10:30 where   tells us what Tami was REALLY saying when she was attempting to explain her actions to Kesha.

This next video is by . She’s from across the pond, and it is just really interesting to hear someone’s take who isn’t quite as immersed in American culture as we Americans are. Also, she was the closest thing to a deferring opinion I’ve found on the subjects of Tami/Kesha Ev/Jennifer. I don’t agree 100% with her take, but quite enjoyed her spirit! Besides, we all know that when a Brit discusses something, it automatically sounds 10x classier. lol. Oh, and I don’t think she used any profanity, so you are safe on that front.

This next YouTuber, AshleyMiller1987, always keepz it all the way realz with her reviews.

This is the first time I’ve watched a video by , but I was very entertained!

 

I am still waiting for to upload their video with their little BBW Reunion recap. This space is reserved for them!

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