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Posts tagged ‘Karlie Redd’

Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, Season 1 Episode 3, The Young and the Ratchet

joseline, love and hip hop, atlantaThis week on the Young and the Ratchet, the episode picks up where last week’s ended…

Wait, let me talk a minute about the ratchet ass shit that went down at a viewing party last night with Mz Hoseline Hernandez. Apparently, ol’ girl was confronted, and attacked, by a fan of the show. As of now, details are sketchy, but the general consensus is that the woman wanted to know why Joseline had an abortion, and that is what started the altercation. Some people say that Joseline just brushed her off, and that was the ultimate sign of disrespect. Others say that Joseline pushed the attacker first. There are conflicting reports on whether or not Joseline was hit with a bottle. The attacker’s friend says that that’s not true. Until a police report surfaces, and/or pictures of Joseline’s injuries are posted, it is going to be hard to tell who is telling the truth.

Now, part of me feels that Joseline got what a lot of people thought she would get at some point. I didn’t think it would be over her getting an abortion, however. I mean, fa real? In case some of you have forgotten, abortions are legal in this country. Now, the GOP is trying to change that, along with taking away y’alls birth control (your asses better vote in November!) but, as of now, it is still legal. It is no one’s place to tell any woman what she HAS to do with her body. Period. If women were walking around trying to regulate men’s sperm, people would have a problem with that, but trying to regulate a woman’s uterus is fair game? Hell nah! But, I digress.

Since I don’t know the actual facts of what happened, it’s hard to give my opinion on it. If it’s true that old girl was salty for being brushed off, she needs to have several seats. What kind of pre-k, elementary school bullshit is that? I can’t stand Joseline, but far be it for me to cosign unprovoked and/or escalated violence (from fistfight to cracking bottles over ones head). The attacker needs to be locked up. Again, that’s IF, she hit her with a bottle.

Now that that is out of the way, it is time to move on to this week’s episode. It starts with Stevie J and Joseline, still in the studio, discussing who impregnated her. I cannot tell if Stevie is trying to play off the, “I ain’t fucking this ho,” angle for the camera, or if he is just a dick. I am going with the dick thing. This dude couldn’t find the highroad if Dora and Boots themselves gave him their map. Eventually, he drops the act and tries to play semantics with her on when she would have conceived the child. “If we had been sleeping together for 6 months, my kid would be bigger than that.” What? Does this man not know how reproduction works? Don’t he have at least four kids by now? Lawd. In confessionals, Joseline is saying, “Believe it or not, I am very stingy with my kutty cat.” Child, please.

Joseline tells Stevie that she is going to bring him the 50% paperwork and he ain’t going to have no money left. Ultimately, she lost that card when she had the fetus aborted. I can’t think of many people who are less fit to be a parent, so there are bright sides. My suspicion is that this wasn’t her first terminated pregnancy, and probably won’t be the last. Stevie doesn’t like that she is threatening to make him pay for his offspring, I mean the NERVE, and he tells her that she ain’t getting shit. He gets up and grabs his dick and says a bunch of ignorant bullshit. His mama must be so proud.

K Michlle goes to meet her record producer, B. Cox, to discuss organizing a local showcase to, uh…. showcase her talent. She is, again, talking about her time at Jive records and how they squandered her budget, and that she was out of her mind, and people were running away and locking their doors because they were scared of her. OK, we get it. Things, at Jive Records, were fucked up. Let’s move on now, because the more you talk the less I believe you.

Lil Scrappy goes to visit Momma Dee to let her know that he has found a new place. Again, they talk about Erica and her lack of affection and Momma Dee says she rather her son ho around to get the “affection” he needs than stay with woman who wouldn’t give him the one thing he asks for. I’m sure Erica is worried about Scrappy giving HER the one thing that SHE is asking for – you know, being faithful, but we see how things work in Momma Dee’s world. Any woman her son gets with must cater to him, period. This is why Scrappy will always be a little boy. That’s just not a lesson you teach ANY man. I mean, he can’t even handle the responsibility of hiring movers to move HIS shit. And mama, right there, offering to do it for him with a big grin on her face. SMDH. I do like Lil Scrappy’s personality though, so I at least understand why a female will be attracted to him. I will never get it with Stevie J.

Rasheeda, Love and Hip Hop, AtlantaRasheeda and Kirk meet up to talk about her being late to the shoot. I am not feeling Rasheeda’s attitude on this one. Yes, I get that you have a lot of responsibilities, and it’s tough juggling it all, but you cannot use not getting your way as an excuse to drag your feet. She wanted four dancers, but she only got two. In her mind, she was being short changed so she would “get there when she get there.” She also seems to think that being late two hours only set their budget back $300-400. Kirk informs her that it set them back a few thousand dollars. I am rooting for Rasheeda, DESPITE the fact that I don’t like her music, but she really needs to pull it together. I’ve seen a lot of immaturity out of her the last couple of episodes. Kirk tells her that she isn’t being smart about the business because she has an attitude. He also says that what she is looking for is something that she would get as an artist with a major label. Rasheeda is totally against going the major labor route because they are really just glorified pimps. They use their artists up for every dime they can drain out of them, and unless the artist is able to negotiate a contract in their favor, ie, owning their masters, it doesn’t tend to pan out well for them.  But, again, if you want to go the independent route, you need to have the attitude and mentality to do it successfully. I am not seeing that in Rasheeda right now. Kirk also tells her that it’s difficult to be in business mode with her as his husband. They need to just go on and hire someone else.

Erica is earning her spot on the show by setting up a nice, romantic evening for Scrappy, even though we know she really don’t want his ass. Her bedroom is a fire hazard, with dozens of lighted candles lining the walls, rose petals scattered across the floor, and chocolate covered scrawberries. She has pullt on some sexy lingaree, and got the oils out for a nice massage. I cannot wait to see Scrappy return the “affection” and set up something similar for Erica down the line! Maybe he’ll get to that after he’s done rubbing Buckey bikini-clad body down! So in the midst of a foot and back massage, Scrappy decides that this is the perfect time to let Erica know that he has found a spot and is moving out. Thanks for killing the mood! I must say, Scrappy has some breautiful feet! He had to have had a pedicure beforehand, however, because I just don’t believe any man keep their feet that pretty on their own. Besides, we know that this show just ain’t that spontaneous.

The ladies get together to support K. Michelle at her showcase. Despite the sparkly fuzzy sleeves, I thought K. Michelle looked somewhat dressed down, but maybe that’s how they do at showcases. She sings her new song, “Bury My Heart,” and she is doing that shout-singing thing that tone-deaf people confuse for belting. Otherwise, she sounds as good as, or better than, most of the artists getting R & B contracts these days, and that “Bury My Heart” song is growing on me. I know I’ve heard that melody before, who is she sampling?

K. Michelle, on the showcase: “I left the haters with their faces on the floor, I left my family excited and my friends overjoyed. A star was born.”

OK, then.

I’ve come to the conclusion that Karlie Redd would not get any airtime if it wasn’t for her stirring up shit. Where is her music? What projects is she working on? Where are her meetings with music execs?  Can you please get your own business, Karlie Redd? I can’t stand that ho. Anyway, she points to some chick in the audience and tells Mimi, “That’s the girl who said she fucked Stevie.”  Mimi, again, is looking like a fool, and when Stevie J comes over there to get a kiss, she tells him that she don’t want to kiss him. This is when Stevie turns into a little bitch and starts to demand that she give him a kiss.

Stevie: “What do you mean you are going to call when you are done?” “You going to show out?” “Gimme a kiss. Gimme a kiss.”

Dude, do you hear yourself?

Erica is thoroughly amused by the entire situation. She says that she didn’t know that Stevie was Mimi’s man/baby daddy, so she didn’t get why he was acting like that. For people who live in the same city, and who are filming a reality show together, they sure as hell don’t seem to know a lot about each other. Anyway, since Stevie is really just a woman with a big dick, he decides to step to her and starts to go off on her, calling her a bitch. Erica doesn’t back down, however, and tells him that she is not intimidated by him. As Stevie walks off, he calls her a, “disrespectful slut monkey.” Really? And what have you done to earn respect, Stevie J? What I like is how Mimi just sat there like a fucking lump on a log. She didn’t try to get him to stop or call him out on his bitchassedness. She just sat there looking like she is completely disconnected from the situation. Someone may want to check to see if she is on something, for reals.

Sidebar: On the Twitter last night, Mimi had this to say,“Doing the show was a blessing and a curse. Id still be in the dark and clueless had I not done it. The downside is dealing with the trurh (sic). It hurts to find out the man u loved so much was capable of doing the most but I’ve been given the gift of clarity. My new beginning begins. My only wish is for my daughter to learn from my mistakes and know her worth and never experience what I’ve been thru. I love her sooo much. But at the end of the day a very dysfunctional relationship produced the most pure love Ive ever experienced. My daughter. So no regrets.” 

The next day, Mimi and Stevie meet up in some parking lot to discuss the previous night’s altercation. Mimi says that Stevie had a bunch to say when they got home, but she locked him out of the bedroom. Do you believe her? I don’t believe her. She asks him why she went off on Erica and he said, just like the bitch that he is, that he just felt like going off on everyone. WTF, were you having PMS? To his credit, he does acknowledge that he was wrong and says that he wants to speak with Erica and apologize. They then start to talk about the latest chick that the Town Crier, Karlie Redd, said that he smashed. Stevie wants to know how many times they are going to go through this he-said, she said shit. Um, as long as you are fucking other women?  First, he says that there is no truth to it, then, he says that he has seen her in the studio once or twice, finally he says he doesn’t remember. Then he starts back at one – “But, I didn’t fuck that broad!”  “I can’t recall.” “I didn’t take that down!” “Can we just get passed it?” He also implies that the woman isn’t hot enough for him to sleep with. LOL. Mimi, again proving how naive she is, says that she doesn’t know of any women who runs around claiming to sleep with men that they didn’t sleep with. She tells him that he needs to check his bitches because they ain’t running shit. Stevie: “This your thing, baby.” Mimi: “You got to stop this bullshit, because I can’t take much more.” ::rolleyes::

Joseline meets with her next-door neighbor, who happens to be her “best friend,” to tell him that she is pregnant. Someone should have sat him down with an acting coach to better perfect his reaction. I thought I was watching Single Ladies for a minute. #Shade Ruben (her neighbor) wants to know if Joseline loves Stevie, and she says that she does. She has that love women get for a man who takes them out of the strip club, or off the track. He gave her an opportunity, and if it wasn’t for him, she would still be stripping. She says that she was one of six kids and that her mother did drugs for 25 years. She ran away at 12 years old and that she is just glad she ended up in a strip club and not dead.

Sidebar:  It’s clear that Stevie manipulates her by threatening to throw her back into that lifestyle, and honestly, I do feel bad for Joseline in that regard. My thing is, and always will be, that you can’t let your past dictate the way that you treat other people. It’s horrible that she has had to live the life that she has led, but it’s not the fault of the world, it’s the fault of her parents.  

At the end of the conversation, it’s obvious that Joseline has decided to have an abortion. She tells her friend that she is just going to do what she has to do.

Scrappy got two little boxes on his bed that he is filling up with clothes to take to his new spot. Erica tells him that she has been keeping something from him, because she didn’t know how he was going to take it.

It went a little something like…

Erica: “I met Stevie J.”

Scrappy: “I heard a lot about him.”

Erica: “Well, he came over to the table and demanded that Mimi give him a kiss.”

Scrappy: “She wouldn’t give him no kiss?”

Erica: “Nope.”

Scrappy: “She wouldn’t kiss him?”

Erica: “Nope.”

Scrappy: “Why wouldn’t she give him a kiss?”

Damn, Scrappy, can she tell the story?

Erica: “He called me a bitch.”

Scrappy: “What? Did he know you before this?” (What difference does that make?)

Erica: “Nope.”

Scrappy: “ Shawty, hell naw! We gon get a apology. Shawty. We gon get more than that, Shawty. You feel me? But… you know, I’m on probation right?”

OK, that is not at all verbatim, but mostly how I remember the conversation!

K. Michelle goes to Ariane’s place to get her “true opinion,” on what she thought of the showcase. What else is she going to say other than you did well? The real purpose of the visit is to discuss Karlie Redd’s messy ass. The night of the showcase, Karlie went up to K. Michelle’s producer and told him that he was messing with the wrong artist.

K. Michelle, in confessionals: “The last time I checked, no one is throwing out record deals to 50-year-old artists who don’t even have a Wikipedia page. Walking around here with a deflated ass cheek, she needs to deal with that shit first!” BITCH, YOU AINT’ GOT NO WIKIPEDIA PAGE?

 K. Michelle goes to meet with Jeff Robinson, who is a music manager who has worked with everyone from Tyrese to Alicia Keys.  She wants to know what she needs to move forward and Jeff is straight with her. He tells her that one of Jive Records former employees came to his office and told him that she was crazier than a bag of hammers. (Just how crazy IS a bag of hammers?) He tells her that her record deal was her opportunity to build something and, to the world, it looks as if she failed. KM says that it’s not fair and starts to cry and shit, whatever. She says that she messed up and should have kept her Hot Pocket closed. Jeff just wants her to understand how it happened and to learn from it. She tells him that she needs him to manage her. He says that she can always ask him for advice, but he has to keep it real. If they are going to work together, she has to take responsibility for herself and her brand. Girl, he does not want to work with you.

The show wraps up with the Mimi/Stevie/Joseline drama, as usual.

Joseline invites Mimi to meet her so she can tell her that she’s pregnant with Stevie’s baby. Getting straight to the point, Joseline tells Mimi that that time back in December, when Stevie stop coming home (a period of 3 months) it’s because he was with her. Joseline: “I know who baby I have in my stomach, and you know, too.” In confessionals, Mimi says that she is disgusted, but she’s not going to lose her cool because that’s what Joseline wanted. She tells Joseline that she knows what she is dealing with when it comes to Stevie, and… wait for it… “I am not fool.” ::sideeye:: ::smirk::

Mimi: “As far as you are concerned, you are a stripper. Do you even know who you are pregnant by?

Joseline: “I’m pregnant by your man.”

Mimi: “He pulled you out of the strip club.”

::Joseline gets a text::

Joseline: “This him texting me right now.”

Mimi: “Tell him to come up here.”

::Stevie walks in two seconds later:: (I mean, come on, you know he was on standby.)

Stevie: “What you letting her know?”

Mimi: “She tells me she’s pregnant by you.”

Stevie: “Is that what she said?”

::Stevie pulls pregnancy test out of pocket:: (The FUCK?)

Mimi (in confessionals): Who the fuck carries around the next chicks pregnancy test in their pocket?

Mimi: “When was the last time y’all fucked?”

Joseline:  “5 days ago.”

Stevie: “A month ago.”

Mimi: “If it was a month ago, it could be your baby.”

Mimi (in confessional): “You’re sloppy. You fucked this bitch raw, and then you want to come home and lay down with me?” Yea, you simple broad, that’s exactly what he wants to do and that’s what you ALLOW him to do.

::Mimi gets up::

Mimi: “Good luck with your baby.”

Stevie: “Where you going?”

Stevie says that she, er I mean, HE, is glad that she left because this was a conversation that he and Joseline needed to have first. You know, to get their stories straight.

The rest of the segment just devolves into them yelling at each other, Joseline throwing drinks, and pushing. Stevie pulls that, “I own you shit,” and tells her that he has papers on her for the rest of her life and that he is going to send her back to the strip club and that he gave her life. Blah blah blah.

Joseline, “I tire of you controlling me.”

Joseline says that Stevie always threatens to send her back to the strip club when he gets mad at her, but he can’t send her back to the strip club because she’s not going back. She calls Stevie a fucking piece of shit and he tells her to watch her mouth. She tells him that she doesn’t want to talk to him anymore, and he said that she will never be finished talking to him and to understand that and to watch how she speaks to him.

Stevie: “You look nice by the way.”

Seriously? Bitches fall for this bullshit? I bet he got hoes, right now, lining up to fuck him and be treated like a piece of dog shit. Ugh.

Next week’s episode shows the confrontation between Scrappy and Stevie, and I can’t wait. I want to see if Stevie is as quick to step to men as he is to step to women. I somehow doubt it…

Thanks for reading. Remember to follow me on the Twitter, @DeAnnaMisrahi, so that you are notified every time I post a new entry! Please share my blog with the peoples you know! Ciao.

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This Week in Drama: Love and Hip-Hop Atlanta, Pre-Review (plus) MeMpHiTz Radio Interview

With all of the drama over the past week, I just felt this need to do a “pre-review” ahead of tonight’s show. In the aftermath of the season 1 premiere of Love and Hip-Hop: Atlanta, sex tapes, nude photos and a wave of “ratchetness” was unleashed via the Twitter and a boatload of gossip sites. It was the quintessential definition of a hot ass mess; which happens to be 100% representative of the show itself. (And, yes, I am still watching!) 

The day following the premiere, alone, we had K. Michelle and Karlie Redd tweefing; K. Michelle and MissJia tweefing; Joseline desperately scrambling to prove that she is, in fact, 100% female; and Mimi Faust volunteering to empower young girls via Saving Our Daughters. I mean, really?

This is Saving Our Daughter’s mission:

Saving Our Daughters creates the tools to get teen girls discussing key issues and fired up to take the power away from bullying, (cyber, gossip, face-to-face,…), date abuse, hate crimes, school violence, violence against women, and other esteem slayers.

There is not one woman on this show that I would have a young girl look up to. (ETA: I may change my mind about that after seeing Rasheeda’s introduction tonight, and Ariane seems OK so far – though she is not a main cast member.) Sure, Mimi is a great example of what NOT to do, but before she can go mentoring young women on self respect/esteem and valuing themselves, she needs to live that life. Since she has no recent history of living that life, she is not an appropriate role model. That is like someone saying, “You know who would be the best person to get someone off of crack? A current crackhead.”  NO! You don’t get a current crackhead, you get a recovered crackhead. You get someone who has lived a crack-free life for a considerable amount of time so that people can see that it is possible to get clean and live a productive life. Mimi can’t mentor young women about a damn thing because she herself is still one of those people suffering from “esteem slayers.” That goes to show that we have absolutely no clue of how to select our “heroes” these days. Just having a little fame is enough. I am rooting for Mimi to get her shit together, but she ain’t there yet and I would hate for some teenage girl to think that it is OK to hang around and let a man drag you through the mud for 15 years.

As far as Joseline, I am not even going to post links to all of that disgusting mess that came out about her over the last joseline, love and hip hop, vh1week. The video, where she is pulling an OctoMom and pleasuring herself, about made me vomit. I am just going to say that it is quite clear that that pussy has seen its fair share of dicks in its day and leave it at that. It’s also clear that she was born a woman. If you do want to see it, it’s just a Google search away. Enter at your own risk, and don’t watch on a full stomach.

This week the drama continued. Today, MempHitz went on Atlanta’s V103 to answer K. Michelle’s claims of abuse. I guess he could not remain quiet about it forever, not with his name being dragged through the mud. Besides, Toya encouraged him to speak out about it. The start of the interview, with V103’s Egypt, is light enough. He talks about how he and Toya went to Paris for their 1st year anniversary and about the reality show he is looking to pitch, anywhere but BET. He used to be VP of A & R at Jive Records, but now he has his own company, Do Work Enterprises, and he’s breaking into the “kid world.” With that out of the way, he just wants to clear his name and let the world know who he is. Whatever people think afterward, is up to them. He just doesn’t want to be slandered so that someone else can prosper. That someone else, of course, being K. Michelle.

First, he explains how he met K. Michelle. He was speaking to someone in the hallway (I presume at Jive Records), and he turned around to see K. Michelle there. He thought she was very pretty and was taken aback by that. She noticed that he was wearing a chain with his area code on it, and she wanted to know why he was wearing it. Once she realized who he was, she insisted on singing for him – and, of course, he was blown away. He goes into some more of his background at Jive records; he had a recording deal, was VP, and was handling three or four artists. Being a young CEO, he thought he could blow them all up at once, and blah blah blah, stop filibustering. Eventually, Egypt stops him and asked if he and K. Michelle had a volatile relationship. He says the relationship was “cool” and goes into how their relationship was not even supposed to happen, that they dated for 6 months and that he was going around introducing her as his “little sister.” She asked him why he was introducing her as his sister.

Egypt stops him and asks again, “Was the relationship Volatile?”

MeMpHitz: “Volatile, as in violent?”

Egypt: “Yes”

MeMpHItz: “No!”

He says that he has held women from swinging to hit him, even in high school. (Sounds like has been in volatile relationships, but he is claiming it’s he who gets abused.) He says he has never hit a girl in his life, and he can’t even spank his daughter.

Egypt: “Did K. Michelle put her hands on you?”

MeMpHitz: “Yes.”

MeMpHitz: “I love girls a little too much. Even in times when girls hit me the only thing I’ve ever done was hold those arms down.”

He reveals a time that he had to call the cops on K. Michelle for trespassing. It was back when he and Toya first started their relationship and she was in his room, asleep. K. Michelle left before the cops got there.

MeMpHitz: “If you can find one other woman in the world that can say that I have ever put my hands on her, I’ll confess to everything.” (Does that even make sense?)

Egypt: “Why would she come out and say this?”

MeMpHitz: “I don’t know how the devil moves, I just know he moves in ways that humans will never understand. All praises to Jehovah.”

MeMpHitz reveals that there was a time that K. Michelle was in a abusive relationship. He said that she would tell him stories about how some guy used to, “fight her like a man” and that she was raped. He calls her “damaged” and said he fell into a relationship that she insisted upon being in. He said that she would embarrass him in meetings with important people with her screaming. He wishes K. Michelle all the blessings in the world, and hopes that she sells a million records, just don’t slander him to do it.

That was the gist of the interview. I quoted them the best that I could, real time, with no time to pause. I do type over 100 wpm, but still, it was tough! Anyway, what I took from this interview is that both he and K. Michelle sound convincing, so it’s difficult to tell which of the two is lying. One red flag, for me, is that MeMpHitz admits to being in violent relationships, but he makes himself the victim of the violence. Another is that he is making it seem as if K. Michelle strong-armed him into being in the relationship. He also seems to believe K. Michelle’s claims of abuse, when she told him about her past. If she would lie about you abusing her, why do you still believe that she was abused at some point? Maybe she is just a sociopath who has discovered a way to get people to feel sorry for her? And the ultimate question is – Why, if she is lying, are you not suing her for libel?

Here is a legal definition of libel:

Libel  1) n. to publish in print (including pictures), writing or broadcast through radio, television or film, an untruth about another which will do harm to that person or his/her reputation, by tending to bring the target into ridicule, hatred, scorn or contempt of others. Libel is the written or broadcast form of defamation, distinguished from slander which is oral defamation. It is a tort (civil wrong) making the person or entity (like a newspaper, magazine or political organization) open to a lawsuit for damages by the person who can prove the statement about him/her was a lie. Publication need only be to one person, but it must be a statement which claims to be fact, and is not clearly identified as an opinion. While it is sometimes said that the person making the libelous statement must have been intentional and malicious, actually it need only be obvious that the statement would do harm and is untrue. Proof of malice, however, does allow a party defamed to sue for “general damages” for damage to reputation, while an inadvertent libel limits the damages to actual harm (such as loss of business) called “special damages.” “Libel per se” involves statements so vicious that malice is assumed and does not require a proof of intent to get an award of general damages. (Continue reading.)

If I am a man, who is being accused of beating the piss out of a woman, AND I DIDN’T DO IT, I am suing on principle. Oh, that ho is going to court! Maybe he doesn’t want the legal fees. Maybe he doesn’t feel that it is worth it because you can’t prove a negative. I don’t know. In the end, I don’t think we will ever have some definitive answer on this one.

At the end of the interview, MeMpHiTz mentioned a recording that he wanted to play for us. He said it wasn’t his voice, or any other man, but they never played it. He said he wanted to let us hear it, and if people still did not believe him, there is nothing he can do about it. Egypt pretended as if he didn’t say any of that, and just thanked him for the interview. I imagine that they didn’t have time to see what the recording was, or how he got it, so they didn’t want to get into trouble by playing it. I hope he releases it at some point!

Well, that’s it for my pre-review. I will be back with my review for tonight’s episode later.

Series Premiere – Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, Season 1 Episode 1: The ‘A’ List Review

BEWARE: Profanity below! Check out my review for Episode 2 of Love and Hip-Hop Atlanta.

First of all, I gotta say that the opening for this reality show has got to be the most dramatic I’ve ever seen. This should already tell us what we have in store for us for this season! I am from Atlanta, so it will be very interesting to see how my city plays out from this angle. We already have the Real Housewives of Atlanta, but Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta plays to a younger demographic.

Here is the cast (L-R): K Michelle, Karlie Redd, Rasheeda, Mimi Faust, Joseline, & Erica Dixon

We start out the series premiere with Mimi and her man, Stevie J. They have been together fifteen years, which means that she has likely been cheated on hundreds of times and probably has had to make a few trips to the clinic along the way. Is that mean? Anyway, they have a 2-year-old daughter named Eva and Mimi is just ready for Stevie to man up. So, Stevie has Mimi driving them way outside of Atlanta, to the suburbs where he has a surprise waiting for her. When they reach their destination, we see that it is a house, which is a gift to her. I’m a little confused though, are they moving into that house, together, or is he just giving it to her? Is he kicking her out of the place they currently live? At any rate, when people start giving you gifts as big as an entire house, you pretty much know that they done fucked up.

Mimi is not really feeling him moving her all the way out into the suburbs. From where it looks like they are, it is a good 30-45 minutes outside of Atlanta. Stevie is all like, “Look hoe, you better take this house and be glad I’m not tossing you into some glorified  apartment. You know how many bitches wish I was buying them a house right now? You ungrateful cunt!” Okay, he didn’t say any of that. That was just me reading in between the lines. He did make it clear that he still is not going to be around “like that” because he gotta get his money.

Next up is Erica. She’s a single mother and she has been dating the rapper Lil Scrappy on and off for about 10 years. They have a 6-year-old daughter named Imani. Lil Scrappy pops up on screen for 2 seconds to ignorantly proclaim some stuff about his affinity for the city of Atlanta, where he was born, and, apparently, will die. After his career took off, Lil Scrappy had a public affair with an Atlanta rapper named Diamond and it hurted Erica’s feelings.  Diamond dumped Lil Scrappy to get with something bigger and better (OK, I don’t know if he is better) Soulja Boy, and Scrappy went crawling back to Erica with his tail between his legs. And, of course, she took him back. She clearly has a high sense of self-worth. Lil Scrimpy takes a pause to think when Erica asks him if he thinks he would be with her if Diamond hadn’t cheated on him. He comes up with a response that wouldn’t get him cut, and kept it moving. He tells her that she needs to give him more affection. You cheated on her, just how affectionate should she be?

It’s time to meet the singer on the show, K. Michelle. She is in the studio shouting into the microphone – shouting is not singing; someone needs to tell these young singers that. She is a single mother, a pianist and she rocks out with her cock out. She recently got out of a bad relationship and that’s what this album is about. She’s recording a break-up song, and once she gets into the groove, she does sound considerably better. Later in the show, she meets with Rasheeda to express her displeasure with her ex-record label and to tell her about the bad relationship she ended up in with the man who signed her to the record deal. She said he gave her everything she thought she wanted until one day he flipped and beat her ass. He even stole the money that was reserved for her recording budget ($2 Million!)to buy himself flashy jewelry, and in the end, she had nothing to show for it; not even the album. Even though other people knew what was going on, they did nothing to help her. The nature of the beast. (I presume that she cannot mention this man’s name on the show, based upon how cryptic she was in that regard. Allegedly, the man in question is Memphitz. Memphitz is currently married to Toya. If he really is as violent as K Michelle claims, I hope Toya don’t ever feel that wrath.)

Mimi goes to visit her friend, Ariane, (somebody should have told her mother that does not spell “Erin”) to whine about about Stevie J giving her a big ass house in the suburbs. Ungrateful! I mean, so what if it is out in the boonies and it will be harder for you to roll up to the studio to see what skank he fucking? It’s a new house! Anyway, she and Ariane have known each other for about 7 or 8 years and she knows all of the ups and downs, ins and outs, of Mimi’s relationship with her man. Ariane reads the situation pretty quickly and is all like, “Is the dick THAT good?” OK, now we all know good well that what keeps her in the relationship is the money and status. These women kill me trying to act as if that has nothing to do with it and that they aren’t at least part golddigger. OWN WHO YOU ARE. Mimi says that she has never met a dick that made her do cartwheels – but she has met a paycheck! Ariane pretty much tells her that she accepts the behavior by staying with him. I concur! Side Note: Evelyn needs to take notes on how to cry on cue from these chicks. They make real tears and everything.

Looking like a po’ man’s Rihanna

Next, we travel to Kirkwood, which is in east Atlanta, to meet the show’s Latina flavor, Joseline (real name Shenellica, scroll down to see her mugshot). She gets a video ho vixen entrance before we see her little clip stating that she is a rapper, actress, and dancer. We got a triple threat y’all! She does have a nice ass (is it real?), but that weave is TRAGIC. So, she’s at Stevie J’s Studio, Block Studios. The first thing she does is show off her ass and he gives it a nice smack. Turns out, they’re fucking. Now, we already knew they were fucking, but I didn’t expect them to make it so obvious. I thought it would be one of those coy, “He’s just my producer/manager/everything, but we ain’t fucking,” kind of things. Nope. She puts that shit right on the table. I think I might actually respect that. Wait; scratch that. Did this bitch just say that Stevie fucks her brain? Yea… I take that respect thing back. She says that she wants Stevie forever. Good luck with that one.

Momma Dee

Lil Scrappy heads over to his mother’s house, Momma Dee. My impression one sentence into Momma Dee’s introduction:  She doesn’t seem quite as ghetto fabulous as say… a Frankie or Nancy. I mean, it looks like she would be able to spell psychotic if she had to. ::sighs:: I guess I should have waited to hear her speak before I placed her above Frankie and Nancy. Once she begins to express her displeasure about the people working on her home, it becomes clear that she is a lot more hood than she portrays herself in the “confessional.” At least she knows how to act as if she has some home training when she has to…  Although, that gives me shades of Tami Roman. Tami knows how to act cool, calm and collected when she wants people to think she has sense, but eventually, the truth betrays her and we see exactly who she really is. Wait, how did I get back to Basketball Wives?

Anyway, Momma Dee used to pimp and sell crack back in the day. She did what she had to, to take care of her family. Even if what she did hurt the community she was raising them in even more. Yup, that makes sense! Momma Dee gives her son some advice on his relationship with Erica. She says that Erica doesn’t know how to show affection because she didn’t have a mother to show it to her while she was growing up; because her mother was a crackhead. Mmm…. I wonder if she bought her crack from Momma Dee? Lil Scrimpy ignorantly proclaims – I mean, dude is stupid – that affection has nothing to do with your mama. What? They move on to talking about Diamond and Momma Dee is determined not to let her son beat her out in the ignorance department and states that Diamond didn’t need a record deal, she needed a Massengill deal; because, apparently, she knows what her pussy smells like – and it stinks! She says that Diamond almost made her come out of early retirement and that she needed to put her on the track to sell that ass; since her son paid for it. All of this because Diamond did to her son, what her son did to Erica. What goes around comes around; if you are so wise, where is THAT wisdom, Momma Dee?

Momma Dee has Erica over to her house to have a heart to heart sit down, and to tell her all of the things she is doing wrong in her relationship with her son. “You gotta show him affection, hoe!” Erica says that she does show him affection. I’m sorry, if someone publicly humiliates me by cheating with another woman, I’m not going to be feeling all lovey, dovey with them. How is that even a reasonable expectation? I guess she is supposed to fake it for his sake, so that HE will feel better; what about her? Erica tells Momma Dee that she steps out of line as a mother, and Momma Dee tells her she doesn’t know what she is talking about because her mom was a crackhead. Erica said that she still had a mother figure in her life, she was raised by her aunt. Momma Dee says that Erica’s mother did crack in front of Erica, and that she would never do that. Yes, Momma Dee, the pimp and drug dealer is a much more superior mother than Erica’s. People like her is why Erica’s mom was able to get her hands on crack in the first place. People can’t smoke what they can’t get. HELLO? For the record, Erica denies that her mother ever smoked crack in front of her. Momma Dee goes on to have some “vision” about Diamond and Lil Scrimpy and some other stuff that I can’t follow. The bitch is crazy, and Erica confirms it when she gets Momma Dee to confirm that she has been off her meds for five days. That explains everything.

So, Mimi’s slow ass invites her man to dinner to discuss whether or not he is interested in living in their home, out in the sticks, together. Stevie says he’ll come home “more.” Bitch, please. Let me tell you from experience, the only way that man is going to be coming home from that studio is if he needs you to take care of him in some way. I mean, it has to be something major. A serious illness, perhaps. Otherwise, you are doing good to get him once a week.  Mimi lays on him this super duper awesome idea – “How about you build a studio in the house?” Stevie J was ready for that one, though! He was quick to outline why it isn’t such a great idea, stating that you get a different “vibe” when you are at the studio, and being there stokes his creative fire. Besides, how is he going to have Joseline around giving him head lap dances and such if he is working from home? Naw, that one ain’t going to work. We need to keep this here separate. “So, that means what?” Mimi wants to know. Seriously? Like I said… Sloooooooow.

So, Stevie really isn’t all that great at this double life stuff. He invites Joseline to meet with an industry dude – Antonio Reid, LA Reid’s son; and, Karlie Redd, a singer and rapper from Trinidad. She has been wanting to work with Stevie J for a while. He wants to know if she is going for that Trini-sound. She says, no… she is going for that “R & B Swag,” whatever that is. Seriously, you should be able to define yourself just a little bit better than that. I do respect that she can just perform on the spot and is not shy about it. Joseline takes to Karlie immediately and suggests, after they show off their hot-bods, that they do a song together.

K Michlle Birthday Party, Love and Hip Hop AtlantaWe know that with these “reality” shows, we always have to have at least one episode – usually the premiere – where someone has some kind of party where things pop off. Well, Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta is no different. The ladies get together for K. Michelle’s birthday party and K. Michelle is ready for them to dance off beat. OK, that off beat dance of hers was cute… those shoes with the blonde hair weave on them? Not so much. She looks great otherwise.

Karlie is thrilled, and shocked, to see Mimi when she walks in. They were close back when they both lived in LA, but lost touch over the years. Question: How is it that she didn’t know that Stevie J was Mimi’s man? I mean, fifteen years is a long time for Karlie NOT to know who her good friend was fucking.  I guess the above is why it doesn’t come across quite so genuine when Karlie, out of the blue, starts to talk about Joseline and how real she is and how she is “ride or die” for her man. “Her man is Stevie J,” she says. Of course, Mimi and Ariane jump in to say that he is not Joseline’s man because he’s Mimi’s man! Karlie tries hard to pull off that, “Oh shit!” look, but she doesn’t do it that well. She keeps insisting over and over again that Stevie J is Josaline’s man because she “seen” it with her own two eyes. So, of course Stevie rolls into the club with Josaline as they are discussing the issue and this whole thing is looking more and more contrived by the second. K. Michelle plays Kesha for a moment, and got ghost, with a couple of the other girls, when the duo arrives at her table. I mean, K Michelle just got her hair done and she is not looking to get any drinks thrown onto it. What I need to know is why Stevie asks Mimi to go over and talk to Josaline? I guess he thinks she is going to be able to squelch Mimi’s fear that the two of them are fucking. Mimi tells Joseline that she has been going through so much with Stevie, as if Joseline gives a fuck.

Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, Josaline Mimi Confrontation

While I feel that Karlie was intentionally being messy, she is at least going up to Mimi and asking her if she needs to make a choice between her, and working with Stevie in the studio. Mimi says that she would never put her in that position. Ariane wants to know what led Karlie to believe that Joseline and Stevie were “together.” Side Note: Anyone else think that Joseline sounds… “slow,” when she speaks? Anyway, she threatens Karlie, stating that she is being asked questions that will “fuck her up” in the end. In response to that, Karlie goes on to call Joseline and Stevie J all the way out, letting Mimi know how they were acting at lunch and that she did see them kissing. So, I guess Karlie has decided that she won’t be working with Stevie, after all. He calls her a rat, in confessional, but I would call that being a good friend. I STILL don’t know how she didn’t know her so-called friend was in a relationship with Stevie J. But, this is “reality” TV, which means it’s the exact opposite of that. Mimi doesn’t want to hear his lame, weak denials, and Stevie and Joseline accuse Karlie of getting a kick out of the mess SHE started. Really? I think the mess started when y’all started fucking. Just a hunch!

Ariane tries to save her friend, but Mimi just sits there as if she doesn’t know how to get up. Eventually, she figures it out and they exit stage left. Stevie J jumps over the couch to chase after Mimi, and Joseline throws a drink at him to single him back and let him know that she is not happy. Like the mindless, “I think with my dick,” puppy that he is. He runs back to Joseline and escorts her out the club. He then decides he must not be looking like much of a man, so he throws a drink back at Joseline once they are outside, messing up her “forur” wrap. Someone needs to tell her that “fur” only has one syllable.Stevie J, Love and Hip Hop Atlanta

Joseline goes to sit in the car and Mimi is standing by as Stevie follows behind, getting into the backseat with Josaline. Mimi is all like, “Really?” Yes, bitch, REALLY! She stalks up to the car and throws the door open and Stevie was like, “It wasn’t me!” “I was looking for you!” Joseline just wishes that Mimi would go home and “deal with her emotion” so that she and Stevie can go to the studio, where she is going to make him a billion dollars. I guess in her language “making a billion dollars” means “choking on ones dick.” In the end, after unsuccessfully convincing Mimi to go with both he and Joseline (huh?), Stevie decides to ride off with Joseline, and that’s where the show ends.

Based on the previews, this season is going to be a hot ass, drama-filled, mess; and I can’t wait!

Thanks for reading my review! If you would like to see the full episode before the premiere on Monday, Miss Jia has it up.  Check it out on her site!

If you like what you see, be sure to follow my blog to keep up with all of my recaps, and share it with your friends!

Peace.

Update:

Did, I say my name was Joseline, Daddy? I meant Shenellica!

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